In Her Shoes...

I'm back!

2011-11-07T10:27:00.001-05:00

Only, now I'm on a different site. Check out my new fashion blog at http://tastefullytrendyme.blogspot.com/. It's super fun! :) Hope to reconnect with you over there!

And the Academy Award goes to...

2011-02-27T20:44:00.003-05:00

I'm BACK!!!

Did you miss me?!?? (Please say yes.)

I've been brainstorming about what I want to do with my blog - I'm not ready to let it go, but I know I can't go back to a daily talk-about-whatev blog.

So, I'm thinking I might turn my dear little "In Her Shoes..." into a fashion blog. With some snippets of pop culture mixed in. It's still a rough plan.

With that in mind, though, what better night to begin than the Oscars! I'll be live blogging as we go through the show (although, by the time you read it, it won't be live anymore), because I just can't really embrace Twitter. Let's get started!

- Anne Hathaway's dress is beautiful. Tasteful, glamorous, and just the right amount of sparkle. (She'll probably change a lot. Expect many Anne posts.)

- It doesn't really matter who hosts the Oscars. The dialogue will always seem stilted and the jokes always fall flat.

- Supporting Actress: Melissa Leo. Never heard of her, but she looks so much prettier in real life than in the movie clip. (Oh, Kirk Douglas just said that.) I was pulling for Amy Adams - she's one of my faves.

- And there's the first sensor. Minus 1000 lady-like points.

- Not sure what the heck this Melissa chick just said, other than the word they bleeped out. I don't speak crazy.

- One of my friends just asked why Melissa Leo was wearing a doily. An excellent question indeed.

- Whoa. Shrek was 10 years ago. I feel old.

- I'm bored...bring out another dress! (or Mark Wahlberg!)

- First costume change for Anne, and it's a tuxedo. I have never been a fan of that look - even if it is for a gag. Girl can sing, though!

- Helen Mirren always looks so dignified, classy, and age-appropriate. And she's speaking French! Love her.

- Aww, Reese! Her ponytail is a little reminiscent of Legally Blonde days, but she's always adorable.

- Supporting Actor - CHRISTIAN BALE!!! He's so hot - when he's not bearded. Although, Mark Ruffalo is not so bad himself.

- Anne's Dress #3 - looks a little Black Swan. And I don't mean that as a compliment.

- Oh, Hugh Jackman. You're just so lovely. Oh, yeah - you too, Nicole. Say hi to your hubby for me! (I love that they attend each others award shows together.)

- Star Wars Song! I can name that tune in 3 notes... This is a fun game!

- One of the Social Network music guys looks like a guy I went on a date with. That guy didn't get a second date; maybe if he had an Oscar he would have.

- Ugh, ScarJo. I'm not a fan, anyway, but that hair - what is going on? (In her defense, if I'd screwed it up with Ryan Reynolds, I might not have much motivation to do my hair, either.)

- I was thinking that this Laura chick on the Sound Mixing team for Inception looked a little butch. Then, one of her co-recipients said he'd like to thank "our wives", and mentioned three names - one for each of the people standing on the stage. Suspicions confirmed.

- Poor Marisa Tomei. I will now forever think of her as "the girl who Lady Gaga wants to play her in a biography."

- Aww, I'm happy for that one girl in the sea of engineers/scientists. Good for you, girl!

- Yeah, no doubt about it - James Franco is trashed. One slip-up too many has convinced me.

- Cate Blanchett's dress looks like it has an Easter egg on the front of it. I don't get it.

- Sheer is in right now. Sheer gloves - not in. But, she's a costume person - guess she gets a pass.

- Aww. the "Trolley Song" IS one of the best songs!

- I didn't know Mandy Moore still did anything. I like the color of her dress - but I'm not sure what's going on at the bottom. Are those feathers?

- Jake Gyllenhaal. Beautiful. Amy Adams. Adorable. (But, I'm not really a fan of her look tonight - retro hair, high neckline, with a pendant over it? Not feeling it.)

- Anne Dress # 4. Like the one shoulder, not the fringe. But, I realize fringe is big right now. Her hair looks pretty, though.

- I think I want a neckline on my wedding dress like Oprah's. But no sleeves. Can someone tell me what that neckline is called?

- Anne Dress #5 - ruby red. Very pretty.

- I recently heard Jennifer Hudson described as "the Incredible Shrinking Woman". So true. But she looks beautiful! Love the dress.

- I've become a big GwynPal (yeah, just made that up) fan since her Glee episode. I don't generally love flesh-colored dresses. Good thing she's so pretty.

Ok...I'm tired. You guys will have to fill me in on the rest of Anne's dresses - I usually like her style, so I'm not too worried.

Enjoy your evening, and I'll be back soon with more fashion, etc. (I'm thinking of Tacky Tuesdays and Trendy Thursdays? Still TBD.) Miss ya, love ya, bye!

True blond runs deep

2011-01-11T20:52:00.003-05:00

Hey there! Long time, no blog!

So...still working on a name for the fashion consulting biz. Don't worry - you haven't missed anything. I will let you know as soon as I'm struck by brilliance.

Speaking of being struck by brilliance, don't hold your breath, because apparently, I'm not all that brilliant. Or, at least I don't come across that way. The other night, I was talking with a friend, and I said something about how growing up, I had always been "the smart one." Later in the convo, my friend said that she was surprised that I was the smart one. She went on to explain that after talking to me, she could tell I was smart; but from our prior surface conversations, she didn't know. My conversations about shoes, football, and celebrities just hadn't given away the secret of my intelligence, I guess.

With this revelation in mind, I began to reflect on my actions. Could it really be that people who don't know me academically or professionally don't realize that I'm the smart one - the identity I had been comfortable with all my life? Quite possibly. Consider the following:

Saturday, January 8, 2011. I'm sitting in Starbucks, listening to Desperate Housewives at full volume through my headphones. My headphones don't work. I don't realize this for a full 10 minutes.

Summer-ish, 2009. I'm in Union Station in Washington, DC. I fall down the stairs.

Fall, 2006. A man clearly in the mafia asks me what I want to do after school. I tell him I want to work for the government.

2002-2006. I'm in college. I fall often.

2000. I tell high school love interest that there's extra room in my pants. I mean that I've lost weight.

And thus it continues... Honestly, I wasn't all that surprised to learn I always act surprised. I may have brown hair now (oh yeah - p.s. I'm a brunette!), but I'm still a blonde at heart. And I'm ok with that.

Through the years, we all will be together

2010-12-21T19:23:00.003-05:00

So that pressure at Christmas time I was going to write about? O.M.G. My head hurts because I am sleep deprived because I have been doing too many things because it's Christmas and as I type I'm thinking of all the things I still need to do before I go home on Friday and it makes my head hurt even more...

And....deep breath.

But, you probably should be glad I didn't write that post a couple weeks ago when I was planning to. At that point, I was in a little bit of a Scrooge mood. I was thinking about cheesy jewelry commercials that remind me I'm single, Norman Rockwell paintings that remind me my family is def. not perfect, and flying home during the busiest travel season of the year.

Now, though, at least 12 parties later, I'm not so Scrooge-ish. Mainly because I really love parties. And any season that lets me attend more than one on the same night, not to mention all the other nights of the week, is my kind of season.

Also, I got pretty awesome presents for everyone, and I love giving presents.

My family is still def not perfect, but they're my family, and we can probably get along for the six days that I'm home. Theoretically.

And, Kentucky's supposed to have a white Christmas. Sing to me, Bing!

And, I really love Peppermint Mochas from Starbucks.

So, yes. Christmas is a high pressure season - and for so many people (often myself included), it can be extremely lonely. But, if you really look around, there are so many wonderful things about Christmas, that I find I can't help but still get caught up in the "magic" of the season, even after being disillusioned so many times before.

I hope that whatever your circumstances are, you too find yourselves experiencing some of the blessings of this time, and thanking God for the good things that are coming your way at Christmas, and have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

(I know I showed this video last year, but I love it.)

(P.S. I haven't settled on a name for my fashion consulting yet - I'll let you know as soon as I do!)

What's in a name

2010-12-12T14:52:00.003-05:00

I've been wanting to write a post for a while now about all the pressures of Christmas. But, seeing as I have been so busy the past two weeks that this is the first time I've been able to sit in front of my computer long enough to blog, I simply haven't had time.

Ironic, isn't it?

But, since we're still 10 days away from Christmas (I just threw that in to freak you out a little bit), I can put that off a little while longer and talk about something that I'm getting really excited about...my new fashion consulting business!

Technically, I haven't launched said business yet. Or even created the facebook page for it, which, as we all know, is the first step to anything. I haven't even actually named it, which is why I'm writing today - I need your help!

Let me back up and explain a little...

Several months ago, one of my co-workers suggested that I start doing some fashion consulting - helping people shop, put outfits together, etc. I thought that sounded a little far fetched for me, so I didn't pay much attention. However, every time I saw her for the next few months, she would mention it to me, so I told her I'd think about after I was done teaching/moving/traveling/Christmas shopping...

Well, that time is now, and actually, I'm really excited about this new venture! My plan is to do "wardrobe consultations" - sort through people's closets a la "What Not to Wear"; personal shopping - with or without the client; and/or special event outfitting. I may not be good at a lot of things, but I do know how to put outfits together and do it inexpensively, so I'm ready to share that knowledge with the general public.

Here's where you come in. Finding a name for my company has definitely been the hardest part. I finally came up with some possibilities today, though. Let me know what you think of these...

- Studio 9 Fashion Consulting - the byline would have something to do with "dressing to the nines."
I like this one. I think it may already be a brand name.

- Chaussure Rouge Fashion Consulting.
It means Red Shoe in French, and my logo would be a red stiletto. I think it's too hard to say, though.

- Tres Chic Fashion Consulting.
Not the best, in my opinion - I think it's a little cliche.

- Le Petit Chapeau Fashion Consulting
Might be my fave so far - it means "The Little Hat."

- LBD Fashion Consulting.
Little Black Dress - a fashion staple, of course.

So, that's all I have so far. I'm not completely sold on any of them, so if you hate them, that's ok. And if you have any catchy but not cheesy names related to shoes, or fashion in any way, PLEASE make some suggestions.

Thanks for your help!

All dressed up in my (Christmas?) bonnet

2010-11-30T19:42:00.008-05:00

This is what I love about you, my blog friends. I haven't written a post in about 2 weeks or so, and I've been sporatic (that spelling doesn't look right to me, but there's no squiggly line under it, so I'm going with it) in writing for much longer than that. And yet, my daily numbers of readers has hardly changed at all. Thank you for still being my friends, even if I have become a completely lazy blogger!

I just spent about the last hour on facebook. Don't ask me what I was doing - I couldn't even tell you. But, trust me when I say that whatever it was, it certainly did NOT deserve an hour of my time!

However, it's nice to have an hour just to waste on facebook. After being so busy for so long, to waste time is a real luxury. Over Thanksgiving, I went to my favorite little state in the whole country - Rhode Island - to hang out with BFF Laura and her fam. Although we didn't get snowed in (boo!) we did kinda act like we were snowed in and sat around watching TV for days! I never get to do that - partly because I don't have cable, but mainly because I don't have time. But, last week I got my fill of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and What Not to Wear. Between those two shows and a couple episodes of Biggest Loser, there was not one day on my entire trip that I didn't get a little teary eyed!

I honestly don't have anything really important to write about tonight, but I missed you all so I wanted to say hi. And to brag about how I'm going to see Mannheim Steamroller tomorrow with one of my girlfriends, and we're getting all dressed up and going out to dinner afterwards. It'll all be very classy and Christmasy, and I can't wait. It will also be an excuse to wear my silver sequined shoes from Mary's wedding - and that might be what I'm most excited about!

Oh, I have bought some new shoes, though. Boots, to be exact. See them and weep.

Ok, that wasn't a very nice thing of me to say. I'm sorry. But they are SO cute, aren't they?

Anyone else going to see a Christmas show sometime soon? What are you seeing? Here's a little preview of what I will see tomorrow...

You say goodbye, and I say hello!

2010-11-16T21:17:00.004-05:00

Within the past several months, I have systematically lost 4 of my closest guy friends - three within the last three weeks. Not lost like I never speak to them anymore; I still occasionally talk to all of them. But talking every day, hanging out on a regular basis - those things are no more. Our friendships have all been irreversibly altered by things completely beyond my control.

I should be really upset about all of this. And to some extent, I am. I cried multiple times over one, once over another, and just ranted a lot about the other two. But, if you can believe it, I actually find great comfort in the fact that all four have fizzled in such a short amount of time. To me, that says one of two things. One, I've suddenly become a horrible person that can't keep friends. Or, two, there's a purpose behind all of this.

Since none of my girlfriends have abandoned me - I've actually gotten closer to a lot of women lately - I'm thinking the first reason isn't the case. And, while you may think I must be driving only the males away, none of these opposite gender friendships ended because the guys were mad at me or disliked me in any way. (Ok, well one kinda did, but he got over it.)

Which leads me to my second conclusion - there must be a purpose in all of this. And I've found great comfort in that fact. Knowing that God is in control of my life and allowing Him to work in my relationships is an incredibly freeing place to be. I wish I had this revelation years ago - God really is big enough to take care of the one area of my life I'm most concerned about. He knows the plans He has for me, and maybe, by "clearing out" some of the relationships I was using to pacify myself, He's making room for THE ONE that He does have for me. Maybe He knows that I need some extra time right now to just be, to focus on my relationship with Him and with my girlfriends. To enjoy life without being concerned about men.

I'm not saying I'm jaded and bitter. I know there are some good guys out there, and I'm now confident that God has one for me. But, by God's removing all of the "maybes" from my life, I can relax and wait for the "definitely" that He is bringing. And I can have a lot less drama, a lot fewer teary phone calls to my mother, and way less chocolate binges in the mean time.

Life is good.

Pearl of the Day
Jeremiah 11:29 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a future and a hope.

It's beginning to look a lot like...

2010-11-09T21:07:00.003-05:00

edited: I forgot to put in my C.B. picture! See below...

I try so hard to hold out til after Thanksgiving, but I'm beginning to think it's a lost cause...

I'm already in the Christmas spirit!

I blame facebook. Partly because it's just really easy to blame facebook for all the woes of society: identity theft, cyber bullying, the health care bill... But, I also blame facebook because if it weren't for all the status updates of my not-waiting-till-after-Thanksgiving friends, I wouldn't have even thought about Christmas yet. I've been so busy recovering from all my travels, getting my Halloween costume ready (picture below), and buying furniture, that I simply had not even considered Christmas.

That is, I hadn't considered it until my friends pulled out the Christmas music on November 1 - and started FB'ing about it. Mariah Carey has a new Christmas album - how am I supposed to wait to listen to that? It's the only time of year I actually like Mimi! Then, they started in on the statuses about Christmas movies and hot chocolate. If there's one thing I'm a sucker for, it's Christmas movies and hot chocolate! And, THEN, it snowed in Rhode Island yesterday! I'm an even bigger sucker for snow than I am for Christmas movies and hot chocolate! (My fervent prayer is that when I'm there for Thanksgiving, they will get an early winter blizzard, and I will be stuck there for days! Please, oh, please!)

But, what really did me in was the fateful trip today to Michael's. That store is seriously a Christmas wonderland. It looks like Christmas. It smells like Christmas. It entices me to buy Christmas-y things - like ornaments, and baskets, and manger scenes!

Somehow, though, I held strong. I bought nothing at Michael's, figuring that it would all still be there after Thanksgiving. And, if it isn't, I didn't really need it anyway.

I cannot, however, say the same for my trip to Wal-Mart. There, I came across the $5 bin of movies, and I always stop there, just in case. Good thing I did tonight, as I hit the Christmas movie jackpot!

Let me rephrase - jackpot may be a little extreme, considering I have only seen and therefore know I like one of the 43 movies I bought.

Yes, you read that right. 43. But, I can explain!

You see, these are cheap movies. So, they are packaged together. One DVD has 4 made-for-TV movies on it. All terribly cheesy, I'm sure - but I'm not picky about Christmas movies. Bring on the cheese!

The other DVD is actually two in one. One disk has 12 older Christmas movies, including the original Miracle on 34th Street. I would have bought it for that movie alone, but I'll be interested to see "Little Women: Jo's Story" and "Little Women: Meg's Story", too. The other disk has 27 cartoons, including THE "Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer" (I'm assuming it's the real one. Hopefully I will not be unpleasantly surprised.)

So, altogether, I spent $10 for 43 movies. I can't really do math right now, but that's a really, really small amount per movie.

Now, if only I could had some egg nog...

And here is Charlie Brown - 2010 style.

She's a brick house!

2010-10-28T20:14:00.003-04:00

This weekend is Halloween, a holiday which I've really grown to love. My family never celebrated Halloween when I was a kid, what with all it's Druid pagan roots and stuff. And, I understand that - creepy things can happen to little kids on Halloween.

But, as an adult, I love all the parties and costumes and candy corn. Especially the candy corn! No, the parties!! No, the costumes!!!

This year, I'm going as Charlie Brown. I saw the idea online last year, and since I opted to go as cotton candy then, I've been waiting a whole year to debut the easiest costume ever! Seriously, a yellow shirt with a black felt zig-zag and black shorts? Even I can do that, and I completely lack any crafty skills whatsoever.

My brother insists on saying I'm going as "Sexy Brown", since girls always sex-ify their Halloween costumes. Appropriately, I will be wearing high heels instead of Charlie's plain sneakers. That's as sexy as a cartoon character gets.

Throughout the year's, I've seen a lot of creative costumes. Some of them maybe weren't totally original as I've seen them repeated several times since, but they were original to me the first time I saw them, so the wearer gets props, anyway. These costumes include:

- "Smartie Pants." Pants with Smarties candy pinned all over them.
- "God's Gift to Women." A big box with a tag that read - From: God To: Women.
- "Lake Erie" - Blue flowy garments, with leaves stuck in messy hair, glitter eye shadow, a jug of water, and a box of goldfish. This was one of my theater friends. And she was eery - stayed in character the whole time.
- "A dumped girlfriend" - pajamas, a box of Kleenex, a bag of M&M's
- "A Brick House" - this was a store-bought costume, but my friend had a red brick pantsuit, with a red brick roof hat. So, store-bought or not, it was awesome.
- "Marilyn Monroe and Monica Lewinsky" - in college, Mary and I went to a party together. Since she was going as Marilyn, I decided to go as Jackie Kennedy. Except everyone thought I was Monica Lewinsky. So, I went with it. Still a theme - just a little bit different spin on it.

I also talked to a guy today who has 19-month old twins that he and his wife are dressing up as garden gnomes. SO CUTE!

What have been some of your favorite costumes - either of your own or friends? Or are you a Halloween-hater?

PSA, my VIP

2010-10-26T22:11:00.002-04:00

I know I haven't written in forever. To which I say:

:(

I'm sorry. Part of it is that I've been really busy. Part of it is that I'm so exhausted from traveling I can think of nothing interesting to say, except in 160 character sound bites. And part of it is too complicated for me to even mention.

But, I've been thinking about my little blog lately, anyway, and I think it's time for me to make a change. For the above reasons, as well as a new little project I've taken on, I think I'm going to need to cut back on my blogging. I don't want to eliminate it altogether, of course. And, I certainly don't want to lose my bloggy friends! But, I just have too much going on right now to write as faithfully as I had in the past.

So, that means that I will now be blogging twice a week. For now, I'm going to say look for the new blogs on Tuesdays and Fridays, probably in the morning (ideally, although we all know that sticking to things isn't always my strongest suit).

Now, before you go getting all sad on me (oh, please at least pretend to be sad!), just think of how much better my posts will be now! I'll have so much more time to be creative and clever! And so much more time to go shoe shopping/men-meeting.

Well, that's it for now, I suppose. Just a little announcement. I must now turn my attention to the tasks at hand in miserably hot South Florida, where I feel like I'm in a different country for all the foreign languages I hear around me. Also, old people move very slowly, and I am not a very patient person.

Oh, the trials and tribulations of a traveler.

The first five hours

2010-10-21T19:31:00.005-04:00

So far, my trip to my parents' house has been a huge success.

1. My mom gave me a framed picture of Peyton Manning. Not a signed picture or anything. Not even an official print. But, she cut it out of a newspaper or magazine and found a frame that fit and gave it to me. I'll display it proudly.

2. My dad told me he was a Yankees fan. I've known my dad for 25 years, but I've never known him to support the bullies from the Bronx. This information made me very sad, good Red Sox/Mets/Braves/Rangers fan that I am. I don't even know who he is anymore.

3. My dad also told me that we had some peppermint ice cream in the freezer. While I did think it was a little early for my favorite Christmas treat, we also have White Christmas and Holiday Inn on the top of our TV, so I wasn't going to ask questions. But, just as I was getting really excited, my dad dropped in this other helpful piece of information, "Oh, it's from last Christmas." Well now, that changes things, doesn't it?

So maybe "success" is relative. But, I'm having a good time, ice cream or no ice cream.

I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid

2010-10-20T20:40:00.005-04:00

I've been thinking about what I want to be "when I grow up" lately. I haven't really come to any conclusions, although working in a law school has confirmed for me that I do not want to be a lawyer, even if I was the top counselor in my sixth grade grammar court.

I never really wanted to be the typical things that little girls want to be - a teacher, a ballerina, a mommy (I didn't even like playing house, and my mom said when I danced as a three year old, I looked like a hawk, swooping down on its prey.)

I did go through several phases of other would-be careers, however. In late elementary school, I wanted to be an architect, because I liked looking at home plans. Then I realized that to be an architect, you a) need to be good at math, and b) need to be good at drawing. That dream was short-lived.

In junior high, I was convinced that God had called me to the mission field of Hollywood, where I would witness to all my fellow movie stars on a regular basis. I believe this dream was born out of a literal dream in which I shared the Gospel with Freddie Prinze, Jr.

In college, I was sure I would be First Lady one day. Other than a brief stint in 3rd grade, I never really aspired to the Oval Office. But, Hostess-in-Chief/national fashion icon - now that was something I could really get excited about. Unfortunately, once I actually met some aspiring politicians, I realized I probably could never tolerate being married to one. And since you have to be married to the President to be the First Lady, that one was out, too.

So, I've eliminated quite a few jobs from my list of possible life goals. But, I'm still searching for "the One". What did you want to be when you grew up? Are you doing anything like that now?

It's all the rage in Paris

2010-10-19T21:38:00.003-04:00

I got to spend a little time with my sister the past couple days, and we had a lot of fun swapping stories of stalkers and men who don't understand that no means no. We also did some running, some shopping, some eating, and she taught me how to walk. I realize that sounds ridiculous, but, apparently, I've been doing it wrong the past 24 years.

At some point during our chatting and reminiscing, my sister and I turned to fashion trends. I was saying how sad I am that I'm too old for Silly Bandz, because if I were even still in college, I would totally have about 50 of them. Then, I started thinking about the trends I have been apart of in my life, including slap bracelets in kindergarten, and baggy flannel shirts in middle school (side note, I typed that as "middle ages" at first. #signsyouareahistorynerd). My sister mentioned a couple of the trends she had seen, and then she reminded me that I've always had an eye for the latest thing. I just used to be a little bit misdirected.

Take, for example, sixth grade. Smiley faces were all the rage, and I had no problem getting on board with this hot item. But, I may have gone a little over the top as I remember very distinctly going an entire week wearing a different smiley face ensemble every day - on purpose. I rocked those yellow socks and black tennis shoes with a smiley face scrunchy both in my hair and on my wrist.

While I hope that my taste has somewhat matured in the 13 years since sixth grade, and I choose to believe that I have learned the value of moderation, I'm still a sucker for trendy things. (The military look is totally in right now, and I want to get a cute jacket. Oh, and over-the-knee boots with some dark skinny jeans.)

What are some of your favorite trends, past or present? And what are some you hope never resurrect from the dead?

My ol' Kentucky home

2010-10-17T23:12:00.004-04:00

I have very mixed emotions about my home state. I've never been particularly proud to be from Kentucky. But, considering I only actually lived here for the first year or so of my life, I didn't feel like I really HAD to claim it, even if my parents do live here now.

But while I was driving through the middle of the state today, the sun was setting, the leaves were starting to turn, and everything about it was just so pretty that I began to feel like maybe I should embrace my heritage. I have a double name, after all - no one's falling for the "city girl" image I try so hard to cultivate. So, why not be proud of more than just the basketball team in this great state?

And then I saw a deer on the side of the road. He had, I assume, been killed by a large truck (I don't actually know that it was a truck, but in Kentucky, that's a pretty safe bet). In and of itself, that's not so weird. Except, that this particular deer had been beheaded. Some ridiculous redneck had come along at some point and taken the buck's head for his trophy case. And that's when I decided my original impression of Kentucky was correct.

I have no moral or ethical problem with hunting. I love me some venison. And, if you're the antlers on the wall type - more power to you. But, you darn well better earn those antlers through your own merit - not just saw them off an animal that someone else killed by accident.

However, comma, (I got that from HT - it makes me happy to say it), Kentucky really is beautiful. And they have Zaxby's. So, they can't be all bad.

(Also, Bowling Green has a candidate for sheriff whose first name is legit "Peanuts." Which just adds charm to the town/state, I think.)

These are the times that try men's souls

2010-10-14T21:56:00.003-04:00

Pray for me tomorrow, ya'll.

(Despite trying so hard for my 4 college years in the South never to say "ya'll", I really wish now that I said it naturally. But since most of you don't know me personally and therefore don't know that I don't actually say ya'll in real life, I can write it and not feel like a total fraud.)

But, seriously, tomorrow's going to be rough, because we are having an open house at work. I used to really like these open houses - back when I was the lowly admin assistant, and we had an extremely creative and efficient event planner to do all the hard parts. But, now that I have been promoted (?) to event planner myself, they aren't so much fun any more. Yeah, we still get great food (including, but not limited to: Graham Cracker Treats, Hershey's Chocolate Treasures, raspberries and strawberries, pumpkin spice muffins, cinnamon rolls, and Sun Chips), but that's because it doesn't require creativity or efficiency to buy food. Only an appetite, which, I assure you, I have in abundance.

While I don't want to go into any specifics, suffice it to say that inter-personal relations aren't always at their peak during these events, either. My patience, regrettably, grows thinner under pressure, and is directly related to my concern for tact. I have been known to be a little snippy.

I don't like this about myself, any more than I like having to tell people what to do during these events. But, the latter is a reality. The former doesn't have to be, but that's why I need you to pray for me. Already today, I felt the old, familiar irritation rearing its ugly head, and without God's help, I will be stressed, snippy, and downright witchy with a b all day tomorrow, and I will come away from the event exhausted and with a headache (and a stomach ache from all the stress-eating I did during the day). Plus, I really do like my co-workers, and I'd rather get along with them than offend them.

Oh, and I don't even have any shoes to wear tomorrow. That is not starting the day off well. (By any, of course, I mean that none of my 60+ pairs quite work with my suit, except the one pair that needs to walk its way over to a cobbler, stat.)

A man that will admit his faults...

2010-10-13T22:02:00.006-04:00

Inspirational sports stories are my favorite. Like this one: yesterday, the Texas Rangers beat the Tampa Bay Rays to advance in the MLB playoffs. And, they planned to celebrate in the traditional baseball fashion - with champagne showers.

(source)

But there was one problem. One of the Rangers' star players - their American League MVP front-runner - doesn't drink alcohol. In and of itself, that's perhaps not so weird - surely there are other abstinent professional athletes, and he doesn't have to actually drink it, just get sprayed with it. But for Josh Hamilton, a recovering alcoholic and drug abuser, that's not good enough. He doesn't want to even be near the stuff, as he knows he can't handle just "one little drink" and doesn't trust himself to even be around it.

All of this means that the last time the Rangers had a champagne shower, when they won their division title in September, Josh didn't hang around. He missed out on the team-bonding and celebration, because staying clean was more important to him. But, this time, his team wasn't going to let him get away with that.

Before Josh had an opportunity to escape, he was corralled to the locker room in Tampa Bay where his teammates greeted him not with champagne - but with a ginger ale shower! For 10 minutes, the Rangers celebrated their victory with Josh with soda, not wanting him to miss out on any part of the excitement of baseball playoffs. And, I think that is really classy of them.
(source)

Since my Red Sox were never in the playoffs, I didn't know who to cheer for. As long as it wasn't the Yankees, I didn't really care who won. But, now, I'm all about the Rangers going the distance, because that is a team I can support. And Josh is a player I can rally behind.

Very outspoken about his past, Josh credits his ability to get (and stay) clean, to his relationship with the Lord. Even when he had a one night lapse last year, Josh came clean about what he had done, realized then that having one drink simply was not an option for him, and hasn't touched alcohol since. He stays accountable to his wife, never even looking at compromising pictures of him that surfaced during his relapse, not wanting to relive what his wasted mind had forgotten, and his coach said he thinks Josh looks forward to the league's drug tests - another way for him to stay accountable. Josh travels around speaking to groups about how Jesus saved him from his life of destruction. And, he walks up to the plate to Casting Crown's song, "Until the Whole World Hears", a message, which, it sounds like, he has taken quite literally.

Josh and quite a few other celebs made some brief videos a couple years ago for a project called "I Am Second". You can watch his video here, and hear the rest of his fantastic story. Otherwise, go Rangers!

P.S. I do feel compelled to say that the miners' rescue was also extremely inspirational, and I loved watching it.

She looks like a model, except she's got a little more...

2010-10-12T19:32:00.000-04:00

In case you didn't know, our little Amy Beth at Ministry So Fabulous is quite the photographer! While it seems like most everyone these days is trying their hand (or their eye) at photography, Amy Beth is actually very good at it. And she let me be her model when I was in Tennessee the other day, which was super fun for me. I may only be 5'2", but I've secretly always wanted to be a model. It was nice to pretend for a while.

Here are a couple shots AB took of my accessories. Because you know those are the most important parts of any outfit:

The shoes make the (wo)man

2010-10-11T20:52:00.006-04:00

Today, I went to DSW and saw at least 5 pairs of shoes that I simply could not live without. But, I didn't buy any of them. It's been 2 hours and I'm still alive, but I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to keep cheating death.

When I see a pair of shoes, like these Madden Girl funsies,
I immediately begin thinking of what outfits I could make to go with them. Because more often than not, my outfits begin with the shoes.

Sometimes, though, starting with the shoes just isn't complicated enough. I have to muddy the waters a little bit.

Like, last week, for example. I had just bought this new dark green nail polish (which I wanted to be more forest than emerald - when I wear it, I feel a little like I should be dying Dorothy's eyes to match her gown), so I wanted to wear shoes the next day to show it off. This limited my shoe collection first to peep toes (I've got quite a few of those), and second to shoes that would match green (not quite as many of those).

After I'd selected my shoes, I began to plan the outfit. Since these particular shoes are plaid, it takes a little more skill to plan around them. I have a great gold skirt that would match them perfectly...and then I remembered I was going to the chiropractor. A skirt would have made things a little awkward, I'm sure.

Well, switching from a skirt to pants made my job even tougher, as I'm not a huge dress pants fan, and I need to look professional for work. I did have two pairs that matched my shoes, though, so I set them aside.

Next, I had to pick out a top. Bearing in mind that I probably shouldn't wear a heavy sweater to the chiropractor, this narrowed my options to...one shirt. Which eliminated one of the pairs of pants. I grabbed some jewelry to tie everything together, and VOILA! My outfit was complete.

I tell you all of this only because I'm so often asked how I put my outfits together, and really, there's no exact science to it at all. Putting together an outfit is very similar to talking to men - just pick something to start with. Whether, as in the case of conversation, it be a sports team; a band; or a interesting tattoo, or, as in the case of getting dressed, nail polish; shoes; jewelry; or an actual article of clothing, you've just gotta start somewhere and continue to build until you have a date/great outfit!

Hey, your humanity is showing

2010-10-10T19:38:00.003-04:00

The past couple months have been a little rough for me in terms of friendships. I've seen best friends get married, others make disappointing choices, and others just drift away for reasons I don't quite understand. Being such a people person, I take changes in/losses of friendships pretty hard. Especially when I don't see them coming, which, I guess except for in the case of a friend getting married or moving, I don't usually.

But, whenever I do go through a rough patch with one (or more) friends, it causes me to step back and evaluate the friends I do have. And, really, I have some pretty good ones - in the forms of some very unlikely suspects.

Take for example, two of my guy friends. Neither are Christians, as far as I know, or even particularly religious, other than perhaps nominally. We don't hang out all that much, although we do talk fairly regularly. They don't have much to gain from our friendship. And, yet, these guys are two of my closest friends because they genuinely care about me. Sure, they'll tease me about the way I walk (I believe the term "waddle" was used), and they don't understand all the decisions I make. But, they still accept me, regardless. Even when they know some of my secrets. Even when I do stupid things.

However, while they accept me, these friends are not afraid to call me out when I mess up. And I really appreciate that. Sometimes, I'm blind to my own attitudes and behaviors. Or, if I know something's out of line, I might not face up to it. But, when someone else points it out to me, I listen.

A couple weeks ago, I did have a really bad attitude about something. And independently of each other, these two friends both mentioned it to me, and essentially said I needed to shape up. So, I did. I apologized and decided to work on it - because they had a good point. But, I wouldn't have even paid attention to the "plank in my own eye", if these guys hadn't cared enough about me to - kindly - point it out.

I don't know why most of my Christian friends aren't like that. I mean, of all people, shouldn't we who share a common faith be the most concerned with helping each other grow and be refined? Maybe, though, as one of my friends suggested, we're too busy trying to keep up the illusion of our own perfect lives to take the time to point out something in a friend's life - or maybe we're too afraid that they will call our bluff and point out the issues in our lives that we have worked so carefully to hide.

Whatever, the reason, I wish more of my friends would take the time to encourage me in the things I'm doing well, while gently redirecting me when I veer off course. But, I'm grateful for the ones who aren't afraid. I hope I'm that kind of friend, too.

Proverbs 27:6 - Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

Close my eyes and kiss that frog

2010-10-07T22:08:00.005-04:00

A week or so ago, I happened upon a blog post over at Annie Blogs, a blog I hadn't followed closely, but am now going to start - because I like her. In this particular post, Annie was talking about dating, and she mentioned something that's stuck with me ever since:

"I told them to say YES when a good guy asks them out [even if they aren't immediately in love]."

I can't decide what I really think about this statement. I mean, sure, I understand what Annie is trying to say - don't pass up a guy just because he doesn't look like George Clooney or isn't as funny as Stephen Colbert (who I also think is super attractive, and if he weren't married, I would be all about him, political beliefs notwithstanding). Love grows.

But, I'm just not so sure what I think about going out with every good guy who asks. Carrie Underwood tried it, and it just made her love her dog more. I'm sure if I had a dog, I would say the same thing. I suppose, though, that if there's nothing wrong with a guy, he's nice, and he treats you well, you should give him a chance. I guess. But, sometimes, you just know - there is no way that you and he are going to work out, so you're going to save him the time, 50 bucks, and emotional energy of taking you out. And, I tend to think turning down dates is kinder than accepting ones you know aren't going to amount to anything.

The romantic-who's-seen-too-many-chick-flicks in me also thinks that if it's meant to be, he'll continue to pursue you, you'll stay friends, and eventually, you'll realize that you love him - without having to convince yourself by saying yes to a date prematurely.

But, maybe I'm not seeing something. Maybe I'm limiting myself, or being too harsh or too picky (although, if you knew some of the guys I'd gone out with, you would def. not use the word "picky"). What do you think? Do you agree with Annie? Should us single girls give "anyone a shot once"?

Nothing new under the sun

2010-10-06T21:18:00.003-04:00

This afternoon, I spent an hour or so wandering through the campus of Vanderbilt University. I never thought I would say this about any school other than my beloved alma mater Lee University, but Vanderbilt really has the most beautiful campus of any school I've visited - and that's been quite a few. While Lee's campus is very impressive and well-manicured, it simply doesn't have the history and mature landscaping of Tennessee's elite, wanna-be Ivy League. You just feel smarter walking on to Vandy's campus.

One of my favorite things about visiting colleges is people-watching. Or, like today, people-listening. As I walked past a girl talking on her cell phone, I overheard one side of the following conversation...

Girl 1 - "I don't know. I don't understand him."
- pause for friend to reply...
Girl 1 - "yeah, we're just friends."
- pause for friend to reply...
Girl 1 - "Well, he was texting me every day for like a week..."

By this point, I was out of ear shot. But, I know how the rest of the conversation goes - it's one that my friends and I have had many, many times. Boy meets girl. Girl likes boy. Boy gives mixed signals. Girl over-analyzes. Boy moves on. Girl is sad.

And the beat goes on. While I'm sorry for this girl that "he" is so confusing (I was a little bit tempted to run up to her and say, "He's just not that into you! Don't waste the pretty!"), I love that people are people, wherever you go. Whether outside the hallowed halls of a 150 year old academic institution in Nashville, Tennessee, or in line at the grocery store in your own hometown, everyone's dealing with the same things. And we're all just looking for someone to listen and care.

If I ever had to wear a chin strap, I'd def. want it to be hot pink

2010-10-04T21:27:00.004-04:00

First, a picture. Because I want you to understand why I love Southeast Tennessee so much.
I drove past this particular establishment many, many times over the course of my 4 years of college. But, it wasn't until I moved out into the real world and then came back that I realized window tinting and a gym were not a natural combination.

Also, in case you're wondering, I did actually see gym equipment through the window of the gym. However, I saw no people, so it's still very possibly a front for questionable activity. As are, I'm convinced, the two very large firework stores right by the entrance to the interstate. Who needs that many fireworks year round?

No one.

In other news, I'm watching MNF tonight, which means that I have football on the brain. And since I haven't talked about it very much lately, I'm hoping you can humor me in a little discussion of the greatest sport. Especially, because I'm going to talk about things like

- how much I love breast cancer awareness games in the NFL. I like the juxtaposition of all these super macho football players wearing hot pink. Plus, I love pink. And, of course, it's a worthy cause.

- how I'm going to call Tom Brady "Rapunzel" from now on. Reportedly, he won't cut his hair because his wife doesn't want him, too. He looks ridiculous. And if you're a Tom Brady fan because he's hot, a) that's a bad reason, and b) he's not hot with that gross hair. Change teams.

- there are really good commercials out right now. Like, the Snickers one I just saw, where kids are dressed up as a creepy old woman telling a lady to buy Snickers because that's what all the neighborhood kids like. You'd have to see it. Lucky for you, I have it embedded below.
Or the NFL Countdown commercial where the commentators make Wes Welker pancakes. Because Welker is hot. And, because I laugh every time he asks why Belichick's pancake is smiling (Bill Belichick does not smile.) This one is also embedded below.

What are your favorite commercials of all time? Link to them, if you can find it!

These shoes were made for buying

2010-10-03T22:09:00.004-04:00

Tonight, I met three of Amy Beth's Fab 5. And let me assure you, they are even more Fab than she lets on. Honestly, these girls are so sweet, and absolutely adorable, I just want to cuddle with them forever - and they are cuddlers! I'm sad that I don't get to hang out with them more, because there is nothing quite like the unassuming, unconditional acceptance of a child. Perhaps I'm slowly becoming a "kids person".

While I love coming back to Tennessee, there's not really a whole lot to do here, so Amy Beth and I drove around the town a little bit, looking at all the businesses that had changed owners since I was last here. That may not sound all that exciting to you, but it was a very profitable trip as we drove past the one place I most wanted to go - and had completely forgotten about - Becky's! If you're new to my blog, you can read about Becky's here. If you're not new, you're probably wondering if I took a blow to the head, as you can't possibly imagine a world in which I would forget my favorite discount shoe store. I can't either. But, it happened.

Fortunately, our tour of Small Town, Tennessee reminded me of my college home-away-from-home just in time to make a trip tomorrow. And possibly again on Tuesday, because if I remember correctly - which I'm sure I do - that's when they get a new shipment.

While we're on the subject of shoes, yesterday, I went into this little boutique that just opened up at our mall, and I saw the shoes I want to have and wear every single day because they are so super cute....

(website)
They were $48, though, so I didn't buy them. I know $48 is not a ton of money. But, it's about 4 times what I usually spend on shoes. And, although I really liked these, I don't know that I liked them 4 times as much as other shoes.

But, they are really cute.... Maybe Becky's will have something similar. They open at 10 tomorrow. By 10:05, I will know.

I love that T-E-double N-E-double S-double E G-I-R-L

2010-10-02T22:06:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow, I'm back on the road again - this time, to my old stomping grounds in Southeast Tennessee. (Sometimes, when I say things like "stomping grounds", I feel really cheesy and stupid. But, I say them anyway.)

While there, I'm going to be hanging with my friend Amy Beth, author of Ministry so Fabulous!. We've been friends for a long time, but I always kinda feel like I'm hanging out with a celeb when I'm with her. Girl's blog gets more readers in a day than mine has had total in the year and a half I've been writing. So, she's basically the Julia Roberts of the blogging world.

I do have several topics floating around for upcoming posts - including one about my very scientific formula for picking out an outfit. So, stay tuned. I hope to be able to post regularly throughout the week.

In the meantime, just know that I will be enjoying all the Zaxby's I can possibly fit into a 6-day trip/my stomach. And if you don't know Zaxby's, move to the South.

When it rains, it pours.

2010-09-30T19:28:00.006-04:00

If we're facebook friends, you probably already know part of the story I'm about to tell you. But, bear with me.

This morning, Virginia Beach was under a tornado watch, and it was positively nasty outside. But, being the trooper that I am, I got out of bed and went to the gym. (Full disclosure: this was after HT got mad at me for texting "thunderstorm = stay in bed".)

I made it through the wind and the rain just fine, but when I parked my car and got out, I heard this strange hissing sound - kinda like all the air was coming out of one of my tires. I couldn't see anything, though, so I went inside and did my workout.

Sure enough, just as I was getting ready to leave, a guy comes into the gym and says, "there's a little white Chevy out there with a flat tire." Wanna guess whose little white Chevy that was? Yes. Mine.

Fortunately, I have AAA, so I remained calm, called them, and waited for a long, long time. (You see, there was a tornado watch. And there was flooding. And lots of rain. Virginians don't know how to drive in the rain. So, the AAA guys were busy.)

When he finally got there, he switched my tire out, but said it couldn't be plugged, since it had a razor stuck in it. Where I found a razor blade, I don't know. But, I found it. Well, I had assumed the tire wouldn't be fixable, so I wasn't too upset about the news, until he mentioned, "I hope you had roadside coverage on it, though. Looks like a new tire."

And that's when I realized that the tire I had bought exactly one month and 6 days ago was ruined. Not one of the two I've had for three years. No. The very expensive dealer tire I bought one month and 6 days ago. And, I threw a temper tantrum. Internally, of course. Because I am always the model of calm rationality.

As I was leaving the gym with my doughnut tire on my car, I called my mom to complain to her and to ask why these things kept happening to me - first, the new tires. Then the ticket. Then the razor in said new tire. The last time so many things went wrong in my life, I was not walking with God at all, and I felt like I was out of His protection. But, lately, I've really been trying to live for Him like I should. Was I missing something?

I'm saying all this to my mom, and honestly getting a little upset with God for letting this happen when I'm trying to live right, when I pull up to a stoplight behind a Jeep whose license plate says, "5HT HPNS". And in that perfect moment of true irony, I realized God was speaking to me. He wasn't mad at me. He wasn't punishing me for something. This - and the other "bad" things - were simply just the stuff that make up our lives.

Now, is there a lesson that I can learn from this? Of course - isn't there always? God has been convicting me lately of the need to spend more time with Him. And maybe, if I had spent time this morning in prayer, I'd have been more in tune with the Holy Spirit, and gone to the other gym . Or parked in a different spot. Or, remembered the yogurt I'd left at home and not been in the right place at the right time for a razor in my tire.

Or maybe not. Who knows. The point is, God wasn't punishing me. He wasn't mad. He wasn't out to get me or my wallet. And, He spoke to me in the only way I was listening at that point - a profane license plate. Because God keeps it real like that.

So, remember. 5HT HPNS, but God's bigger than the 5HT and He'll take care of you through it.

Oh, and that tire? Not ruined, after all. I got it patched for $10.

Poppin' bottles in the ice, like a blizzard

2010-09-29T22:30:00.003-04:00

Earlier, I had like 5 things I wanted to tell you tonight, but then I FINALLY watched Glee! from last night, so all I can think about is Brittany S. Pierce and the rough road that has been her life.

She is, by far, my favorite character on Glee. Ok, maybe not by far. I do really like Sue Sylvester. And I love Sue's relationship with Becky. Adorable.

But, enough about Glee. Since we're on the subject of music, and since it's already 10:33, meaning I have 27 minutes until bedtime, here are a list of songs that I'm currently really into. Note: I do not necessarily condone (or even understand) the messages of all of these songs. I just like the tune/beat, etc.

Other note: I have this problem of only liking Top 40 hits. And I'm pretty much ok with that.

"The Only Exception" - Paramore. I love the surprise note on the "are" - You ARE, the only exception. Such an unusual melody - and that totally makes the song!

"Just the Way You Are" - Bruno Mars. I heard an interview with Bruno Mars and he said he wanted to write a song that was everything a woman wanted to hear wrapped into one song. He def. accomplished that. Fave line: " So don't even bother asking/If you look okay/You know I say..."

"Only Girl (in the world)" - Rihanna - I actually think this one should have been released before Bruno Mars' song - his song strikes me as the answer to Rihanna's implied question of whether she's enough - "Want you to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world/Like I’m the only one that you’ll ever love..." Bruno says she is. His song, however, is totally sweet and pure. Rihanna's not so much. But still - so catchy!

"Like a G6" - No idea what this one is about. But I turn it up every single time. (If you know and it's dirty, don't ruin it for me, please. Thank you.)

"Club Can't Handle Me" - B.o.B. Pretty much any song from this guy, I'm gonna love. And how you make a song about clubbing sound pretty, I have no idea. But, he does.

So, there you have it - my top 5 of the week. Agree/disagree? Feel free to destroy my list - if there's one area of my life I am completely NOT sensitive about it's my music choice. Because, after all, I have Ryan Seacrest and millions of other Americans backing me up.

Oh, honorable mention: "Love the Way you Lie" - Eminem/Rihanna. Mainly for this line: "Now you get to watch her leave/Out the window/Guess that's why they call it window pain/pane"

Having my cake and eating it too

2010-09-28T19:52:00.006-04:00

So, you know how yesterday I said I wanted to talk about friends making me fat? Today I'm going to talk about it. Because, this is a sad reality of my life. Whenever I have lots of friends, I gain weight. See: college, grad school, this summer.

College was the worst, because, proportionately, I had the most people in my life to ask me to go out to eat with them. Because what else do Christian college kids do? (Don't answer that.)

Grad school wasn't a whole lot better because my best friend Laura and I were super close and her mom was an amazing cook who ALWAYS had tons of cookies and brownies and candy and ice cream around the house. Combine that with melodramatic boy problems, a mutual love for country music, and an addiction to the Bachelor, and any semblance of a healthy diet was a lost cause.

But, when I moved to Virginia Beach, I was lonely for the first 2 1/2 years, so I lost weight. Sure, I had friends, but not every-weekend-friends. More just once-in-a-while friends. And, my diet can take once in a while Mexican food or Dairy Queen runs. It's when it becomes more routine that I get myself in trouble.

Like this summer, for example. This summer, I was constantly with friends! From May until September, I was at the beach most every weekend (Slurpees and potato chips!), going out to eat after church (all you can eat chips and salsa!), and wrapping both up with a trip to Skinny Dip, the local froyo place (I bet those choc. chips I put on top are low fat, too!) So, you can see my predicament. (Not to mention, I discovered chocolate peanut butter and tried my chocolate milk diet this summer - neither of which helped matters. Shocking that nothing with the word "chocolate" in it helps you lose weight.)

So, I've got my work cut out for me heading into the holiday season. Fortunately, though, there is a antidote to my dietary kryptonite, and it's not divorcing all of my friends! No, it's much more fun than that. All I have to do is find new crushes at the gym!

Whenever there are hot guys to flirt with I am a) more likely to go to the gym in the first place. And b) more likely to work out longer so that I can coincidentally time my stretching with his. I always lose weight this way. Always.

Since HT never did pan out and we just became friends, he no longer is able to function as my motivation. Fortunately, though, there are plenty of others to distract me, including, but not limited to, the two Army guys I've talked to in the past two days; and Tall, Dark and Handsome who smiled at me today. Thank you, Kansas Jayhawks shirt, for giving me something to talk about. Again.

When I was in college, we used to adhere to what we called the algebra diet - if you ate a salad and ice cream, they canceled each other out. This is like that. If I hang out with friends and eat fatty foods, but workout for hours for the hot guys, they will cancel each other out. And, I, my friends, will have the best of both worlds.

To defriend, or not to defriend - that is the question

2010-09-27T20:19:00.003-04:00

Although I really want to talk about how having friends makes me fat, I promised you and the Virginia Beach Public Library system that I would finish this review of the best facebook book I've ever read (doesn't matter that it's the only one). So, I'm gonna finish it!

Picking up where we left off, let's talk about facebook post-break up. This is when things really get kicked up a notch in the passive-aggressive world of the news feed. Beyond the obvious statuses - melancholy song lyrics, or falsely happy "hanging out with the girls and having a BLAST", etc - there are many other, often more subtle ways to express yourself post-break up on facebook. Such as having your male friends pretend flirt with you on your wall. Even better, if you can convince one to be in a relationship with you, the ex who must surely be stalking your profile like you are his, will be instantly driven to a jealous rage.

For the really daring, you could make a fake profile to be your bf. Thanks to facebook's new privacy settings, all you really need to have a fake profile is a picture - you can hide the rest (that was not the case when Gershon wrote her book, and you had to be a lot more creative to make a legit looking fake profile.) Which all means you can make your "new man" as hot as you want him to be!

I may or may not have recently contemplated this option, but fortunately, the actual 25 year old me won the battle over the 13 year old trapped inside my body.

The problem with making things facebook official is that when they become real life unofficial, you have to change facebook to reflect that. I have noticed personally, although Gershon didn't mention this, that people often go through phases. When they first break up, they just hide the relationship status. It may be a while before they actually change it to "single." Regardless, the change will show up in your friends' news feeds, and then everyone will know.

But, as one of the interviewees pointed out, the worst part about a facebook break-up is seeing your ex in a new relationship. That's when you know your relationship is officially over. This actually did happen to me - 3 weeks after my boyfriend and I had broken up. And while as a 25 year old, I was mature enough not to create a fake boyfriend, at 23, I most certainly was not. Fortunately, I had a picture lying around of a guy I'd met line dancing - and he had HUGE arms, something my ex, "Joe", was particularly concerned about on his own body and I knew he would notice. So, as soon as I saw that Joe was in a relationship, I, quite coincidentally, was in one of my own. With Mr. Hottie McArms featured in my profile picture. I'm positive that Joe bought it. Wouldn't you have?

Another element of the facebook breakup is defriending. When is it time? What are the motivations? Gershon looks at some of her interviewees' responses and determines that many defriend a former flame out of anger, while many others out of hurt. When I've defriended - which hasn't been often - its usually been out of the latter. I can't handle looking at his profile, seeing what girls he's now friends with, pictures of the new "me and my baby <3" - but, I can't trust myself just not to look at it. So, I defriend.

Similar to defriending is deleting phone numbers. But, fortunately for the case for my sanity, there are many other people out there who realize that deleting a phone number doesn't quite remove the temptation if you keep the texts - it just makes you think a little bit longer before you call that guy you KNOW you have no business talking to again. And I'm def. not going to delete the texts. What if there's an emergency?

All in all, The Breakup 2.0 was a great book, and a fascinating insight into my generation's culture. There was some technical jargon that I tended to skim over, but for the most part, every anecdote was extremely interesting, and Gershon's writing style very readable. It did not challenge me to be a better person - but I feel that my life is enriched by the knowledge that many, many other people are affected by this drug that we call facebook.

Oh, to be bored

2010-09-26T22:03:00.005-04:00

I am so busy right now that I think if I took the time to write a real blog post, I would cry. Who knew that I would actually have more time to write on the road than when I was home? So, this isn't a real blog post, but I didn't want you to forget about me! And, here are a few things to look forward to:

- the continuation of my book review/running commentary on The Breakup 2.0. I promise this will come tomorrow. Mainly because the book is overdue at the library.

- I'm thinking of writing a book, based on my blog. It would be titled something like, How to Meet Men...and other life lessons of a sports fanatic, shoe-obsessed girly girl. That's a working title. Of course, like many of my projects (see: summer plans), this very well may not happen, but it's the first time I've ever even had an idea for a book, so I'm running with it for now. If I do work on it, I will most likely want your input. Early and often.

And with that, my time is up. Hope you had a great weekend! And are a little less sore than I am right now.

P.S. I had a dream about George Clooney last night, and you will be happy to know that even with Dream George, I upheld my morals. But, let me tell you, it was not easy.

Anything I can do, you can probably do better

2010-09-25T13:58:00.003-04:00

Hello, my name is Sarah Beth. I'm 5'2". I like cheese fries and nachos. And I'm a runner.

This post is to inspire any of you who think you can't run. Because, you can. Seriously, if I can, you can.

Today, I ran my first race - an 8K, which is approximately 4.97 miles. Or, as I like to call it, 5 miles. Going into it, I was quite concerned with surviving and finishing at all, much less finishing with a respectable time. Since I'm typing this, I'm obviously alive, as you surely surmised. I also am proud to say that I finished the race. And I'm even prouder to say that I ran the whole time and finished in 51 minutes, 29 seconds, which means I averaged less than a 10.5 minute mile.

While that time may not have won me any awards, it was a solid pace for this short, non-wiry, non-runner runner. Lest you think I exaggerate my lack of a runner's build, let me explain it this way. In July of 2009, I could barely run a mile. I remember the first time I ran; I only did it because HT (Hot Trainer, for my newer readers) told me to. And at that point, I would have done about anything he had asked. So, I tried running. I think I ran about 20 minutes at a nice leisurely 14 minute mile. Which means about a mile and a half. And, I thought I was going to DIE. Also, HT teased me about being a bad runner.

Well, that was all the motivation I needed. I started running about three days a week. Slowly at first, for short distances, but I gradually built up my speed and my endurance, until I reached the point - a year and a half later - where I could run an 8K and not only not die, but do it in a decent time, keeping a steady pace for the whole race.

All of that to say, if you're wanting to start running, go for it! Find whatever motivates you - a hot trainer, a new pair of shoes, an excuse to watch your favorite show that you wouldn't otherwise have time for - and just do it. Start slow, but you'll be able to do it. I'm not saying you'll love it - I still don't LOVE running. But, I do love the feeling I get after running - both physically and emotionally. So, it becomes worth it for that reason.

So, carpe diem! Go forth and conquer! Run the race that is set before you.... That's about all the motivational sayings I know. Just do it! (Ok, one more.)

Our houses are protected by the good Lord and a gun

2010-09-22T21:58:00.003-04:00

While Texas and I have a somewhat love-hate relationship, the parts that I love are represented by this song. Especially in College Station.

It's been in my head all week. And since the choices for radio stations in this state are country or Mexican, I go with country. So, I hear it a lot. But, I'm really ok with that.

Our houses are protected by the good Lord and a gun
And you might meet 'em both if you show up here not welcome son
Our necks are burnt, our roads are dirt and our trucks ain't clean
The dogs run lose, we smoke, we chew and fry everything
Out here, way out here

We won't take a dime if we ain't earned it
When it comes to weight brother we pull our own
If it's our backwoods way of livin' you're concerned with
You can leave us alone
We're about John Wayne, Johnny Cash and John Deere
Way out here

We got a fightin' side a mile wide but we pray for peace
'Cause it's mostly us that end up servin' overseas
If it was up to me I'd love to see this country run
Like it used to be, oughta be, just like it's done
Out here, way out here

Our houses are protected by the good Lord and a gun
And you might meet 'em both if you show up here not welcome son

Way Out Here - Josh Thompson

All I need is the groom

2010-09-21T19:00:00.003-04:00

And just like that, my warm, fuzzy feelings toward Texas go down the proverbial drain - to the tune of $200. Thank you, Enterprise, for giving me a red rental car. And thank you, Irving police, for not caring that I'm from out-of-town (and cute, for goodness sake!) and writing me a ticket for the full amount over. You could have written it for 2 mph less and saved me a $100. But, that would have been too much to ask, now wouldn't it?

I should have been wearing a sports shirt. It likely would have made all the difference in the world. When I was in an accident a couple years ago, I was wearing my Red Sox t-shirt. The cops chatted with me about baseball, gave the other guy the ticket, and let me sit in the cop car until my ride came.

It might have helped that I was also crying.

However, this day was not all bad. Bon-Bon and I did visit the Kennedy assassination museum where I became further convinced that there was, in fact, a grand conspiracy. We had wonderful Mexican food. And, we visited the original Neiman Marcus where I found some Louboutins that were to DIE FOR:
Only $898.

The sales people at this NM were way nicer than those at Saks in Houston. The sales guy in shoes said we could try on as many as we liked. And, the ladies in the bridal salon laughed when I said I didn't even have a boyfriend and offered to find me one! Hope he's rich, though - because I'm going bridal shopping in Dallas! At Neiman Marcus. Where there were no price tags on the dresses. And I touched a Vera Wang.

Yes. He better be very rich.

Deep in the heart

2010-09-20T23:23:00.006-04:00

Things I love about today:

- Visiting the George Bush Presidential Library/Museum.

- Meeting a sweet old man at the library who doesn't worry about his cancer/heart trouble because he knows Jesus. Also, he was an engineer.

- Spending at least 5 minutes standing in a parking lot trying to get a picture of Iris in front of what I thought was the Texas A&M football stadium. I now think it might be the much less-impressive baseball stadium.
- Renewing my love for College Station, TX, the only place in Texas I had yet seen the sun - or would see it for the next two hours. I think that is not coincidental.

- Seeing my rather uncommon last name on two different company signs within 30 miles of College Station. Assuming that's a sign. Of something.

- Driving to Waco and seeing a gorgeous full rainbow! Pretty sure I've never seen one of those before. I expected the Lucky Charms guy to hop out.

- Getting lost when my GPS thought Panera was in the middle of an older, lower middle-class neighborhood. Loving that the streets in said lower-income neighborhood were named after Ivy League schools. And Purdue.

- Stopping at a gas station in the small hometown of my ex-boyfriend. Asking the girl who worked there if she happened to know his family. She's his cousin.

- Watching Monday Night Football under the covers. Alex Smith is hot!

What I will love tomorrow - being in the same hotel two nights in a row and hanging with Bon-Bon! God blessed Texas!

"It's Complicated"

2010-09-18T22:18:00.003-04:00

First things first. The past two nights, I stayed in the Omni Shoreham in DC, which, I learned, has been the site of an inaugural ball for every president since FDR. And, my room had a balcony.

I felt kinda important.

Second, I am writing this post from my first class seat on my flight to Texas. I love technology. And frequent flyer status.

Moving on, I just finished the most interesting book called, Breakup 2.0: Disconnecting over New Media, by Ilana Gershon. Gershon is a professor at Indiana University who did an ethnographic study on college students and the role technology plays in breakups. If you are between the ages of about 18-27, you have likely experienced many of the things Gershon relates in her book. Unless you and your friends were all super mature. I didn’t know any such people.

A lot of Gershon’s book is made up of verbatim interviews with students whose names have been changed to names of their own choosing – which is why we hear from a one “The Gunslinger”. Gershon quotes them as they talk – all the sentence fragments and “likes” and “you knows” included. And that’s what I love about it. It’s so real – so “straight from the horse’s mouth.” One of the first anecdotes we hear is that of “Olivia” who tells of breaking –up with her 8th grade bf via IM. Her story goes like this,

This is when instant messenger was a big part of my life – away messages told about your state of mind. You would put up the quote of a song, and it told if you were happy or sad…I had this boyfriend and it was eighth grade. He asked me out through his friend, we talked online, and we hung out, like, once, and thing I got freaked out. I am not ready for this. I broke up with him online [by IM]. And then, of course, it’s like that is the equivalent of deactivating [Facebook], is the person who signs off without saying anything. It’s like “oh my god, are they going to go kill themselves, did they go to cry, or are they pissed off, and they don’t care?”… I remember what I said, and my heart was pounding. And then he just signed off, and that was his response. I was good friends with his friends, and they told me that he was upset and everything. And he wasn’t online for a few days…so I was worried about him.(p. 31)

Ahh, middle school. If only we had grown up since then! A lot of Gerson’s study focuses on what she calls “second-order communication”, or the implications of messages and the use of media, rather than the words themselves. Like Olivia who was so concerned with her ex-boyfriend’s change of IM habits, those non-tangibles are often what are most important in break-ups – or even existing relationships. Another interviewee talks about calling her ex’s home when she knew no one was home to see if both of their names were still the voice mail machine. Yet another talks about always receiving texts that started with “heyy” – two ys. When she got a text that only had a “hey”, one y, she grew concerned about the relationship.

I like this book because it validates my crazy. I’m not the only one who overanalyzes all of these subtle nuances of technological communication. I’m also not the only one who facebook stalks – one of her subjects even taught a class on it - spending hours going through pictures and reading old wall posts to figure out, “is he or is he not with that girl in his profile pic?”. And, I’m not alone in knowing that there are def. rules about fb stalking. For example, let you be called “creepy” – a term that I, as well as Gershon’s students use often – you can’t let people know that you know things they haven’t actually told you. Even if it IS on a facebook profile for the entire world to see, if you reveal that you know it before you’re fb friends – then you’ve been stalking them. And, if you reveal it after you’re friends, then you’ve just betrayed your level of interest in the person, and they know the amount of time you’ve spent perusing their profile.

(I do ush try to keep my fb stalking under wraps with the person I’m stalking. However, one time, this guy I was on a date with said, “I saw on your profile…” Double standard or not, since I liked him, it didn’t creep me out. And since he’d admitted it first, I could say, “yeah, I saw that on your profile, too.”)

Gershon also talks about making a relationship “facebook official”. Because, as we all know, nothing’s official until it’s facebook official. But, this new step in the DTR (defining the relationship) has gotten some relationships off track before they even began. Some people don’t like everybody knowing their private life, but if their gf/bf respects the facebook official principal, this could lead to serious issues. For my part, I was hesitant with my ex-boyfriend to make us fb official. We had long been myspace official because I didn’t care about that media outlet. But, I did care about what my facebook friends thought about my relationship, and I was afraid to post it and then have to change my status back to single should we break up. Finally, though, I took the plunge and we became official. And broke up 3 weeks later.

While facebook is the primary focus of Gershon’s book, she also looks at other technologies like IM, texts, emails, etc, and the sometimes difficulties of switching between the various media. Some couples got stuck in one particular form – like a “texting-only relationship”. Been. Done. And it’s the worst! Because when you’re used to talking in 160 or fewer characters, and you try to have an actual conversation – on the phone or in real life – there’s not a lot to say. He can’t keep “;)” at you forever.

There’s so much more to say about this book – I haven’t event talked yet about the break-up part, really. But, this post is too long already. So, stay tuned for more about how much facebook controls/affects our lives. And if you like studying pop culture at all, go read the book! Such an interesting look at the college/career set’s mentality.

Simply Irresistable

2010-09-17T19:38:00.003-04:00

If you wear sports t-shirts, you can even turn gay guys straight.

This is my new theory. It hasn't quite been adequately tested, but based on my one test case today, I'm beginning to think the powers of athletic apparel surpass even what I originally thought. Because not only did two men talk to me today as I wore my Giants t-shirt on the streets of DC (in the daylight, Mom!) - one of the most unfriendly cities in America and home to division rivals, the Washington Redskins - but, I think the second one was gay.

I can't be completely sure that he was gay, because, honestly, he didn't strike me as such. He and his buddy - who was quite good-looking with the most beautiful white teeth and hot aviator glasses - gave the air of being perfectly straight. Except for one minor detail - they were Cirque du Soleil performers.

If you don't know what Cirque du Soleil is, you might not understand why these guys being in the performance caused me to question their sexual orientation. It's a little hard to explain - you might want to youtube it. But, to summarize, Cirque du Soleil is a combo of dance, gymnastics, flaming baton twirling, and all around weirdness. No football or trucks in sight.

Nevertheless, Circus Guy stopped me on the sidewalk to hand me a flier, using the line, "I can't let a Giants fan go past without giving you one." He proceeded to tell me he was a Cowboys fan, which was unfortunate, but we still had a pleasant one-minute conversation in which he told me how beautiful my eyes were.

Tip: In my vast dating experience, I have learned a certainty: when a perfect stranger compliments your eyes, he is lying. He most likely has not even noticed your eyes, and he just wants something - defined however you will. I wish I had learned this lesson sooner. If I had, I would not now be the proud owner of Dead Sea salt lotion and manicure kit.

So, maybe my guy today wasn't actually gay, despite his jester hat and questionable occupation. The few gay guys I know don't usually talk football. But, I kinda like to think he was and that the sports jersey's irresistibility is just that transcendent. And, that my theory will continue to be the rule of the dating land!

How YOU doin'?

2010-09-16T18:01:00.005-04:00

There is one other way to meet men that I haven't yet discussed. It's fun and flirty and highly successful. But, I don't really recommend it for anything more than an ego-boost. What is it?

Car flirting.

I'm pretty sure I coined this term, but I think it's a good one. Because when I say it, you know exactly what I'm talking about, don't you? It's that moment when you pull up to a red light, casually look over at the guy driving the pick-up next to you, realize he's smokin' hot and also looking at you, and smile.

And then you anxiously wait for the light to change, because it's become awkward.

That's the problem with car flirting. It can't ever go anywhere. For one thing, how do you create a conversation out of literally NOTHING? "Nice weather we're having." "That light sure changed quickly, didn't it?" No. Neither of these will work. You could, I guess, try a "sweet ride." But, then what? (Again where sports come in handy. If he has a team bumper sticker, you could def. comment on that.)

Car-flirting is also problematic because inevitably, you both have somewhere you're in a hurry to get to. And if you don't have somewhere to be, you certainly don't want to go somewhere with a person you've only smiled at. Because that'd be crazy, right? And dangerous? And just down-right stupid?

Right... But, it's still really fun to flirt. I've found that car flirting happens best in the spring/summer. Windows are down. The music is up. Sunglasses make everyone look hotter. The best way to car flirt, in my opinion, is to catch each other's eyes at the light, smile, and when the light changes, wave and speed off. Fun, no-strings-attached flirting.

Even better, if you are turning left and he is going straight, you might even get in a "hi, how's it going?" And then you can safely go in a different direction.

Of course, the risk of car flirting is that you'll get the crazy guy who gets off the exit, sticks his arm out the window, and points for you to follow him. If you get this guy - as I once did - do not get off the exit. That just does not bode well.

(Tip: Car flirting is perhaps not a wise decision if you have an easily remembered personalized plate. In VA, personalized plates are only $10. I've been tempted to get one, but I never could figure out a good 6 or 7 character version of "Manning Fan". Maybe this is a good thing - would have cramped my style.)

All my exes live in...

2010-09-15T21:58:00.003-04:00

I'm headed to Texas soon. This is why I'm excited:

1) I will see my BFF Bonnie. Who is now a Mrs.!

2) I get to visit the Alamo, where I've never been.

3) I'll spend lots of hours in a rental car, with my GPS, Mel. (He has an Australian accent, and except for when he turns passive-aggressive on me for not following his instructions, we're friends.) And, I really love rental cars.

4) I'll be in Sugar Land. I don't know that there's actually anything to see in Sugar Land, TX. But, I will be able say I've been to the home town of my fave country duo.

5) In a matter of 5 days, I will be in 5 major Texas cities - San Antonio, Houston, Waco, Dallas, and Abilene. I'll experience a lot of culture, because ever city in Texas is WAY different from any of the others.

6) My Texas A&M shirt will actually work with my sports apparel theory there. (No one seems to comment on it here.)

7) There are lots of guys in Texas with trucks. Who listen to country music. And drink beer.

Shout out to my Texas readers (if there are any)! And if you've spent time in Texas, what should I definitely not miss in my whirl-wind tour?

These are just some things I love that are bad for me

2010-09-13T20:18:00.005-04:00

Let's talk about the age old question...why do good girls like bad boys?

I could tell you the number of good guys I've dated. But in proportion to the bad boys that I've dated, it's a VERY small number.

For some reason, good guys just aren't attractive to me. Not that I want someone who beats me, or is a total jerk. But, if he doesn't have a rebel streak (even if it's dormant), I'm not going to be interested.

I like trucks. And tattoos. And motorcycles. And football. And beer (but not for me. Gross.). It's probably part of why I like the military so much. Find me a military man who isn't the above, and I'll remind you of "don't ask, don't tell." (ok. Maybe a slight exaggeration. But still.)

I know I'm not the only girl who suffers from this problem - liking the guys you KNOW are bad for you. Is it possible that the only reason for our collective admiration of the James Deans is because they exude masculinity? Or is there some deeper, psychological reason?

I don't know. I'm trying to work on it. Surely there is an attractive guy out there who hasn't committed a felony. But, in the meantime, what makes us like this? Why can we - women - not resist the Cowboy Casanova?

If you know the answer, please enlighten us!

Going to Kansas City, here I come! (or went)

2010-09-10T22:14:00.004-04:00

I've decided that I like Kansas almost as much as I hate West Virginia - because, really, they are foils of each other. Kansas is clean; West Virginia is dirty. Kansas is cheerful; West Virginia is depressed. Kansas has no bars or strip clubs (readily visible from the road, anyway); West Virginia has "fabric free entertainment" on every corner.

Really, the only similarity between the two states is that the people truly are very nice in both.

As you may have guessed, I just got back from Dorothy's home state, and I loved it. I am now a Jayhawk (in addition to being an Aggie, Gator, and Wildcat). While I'm not sure I'd actually want to move to Kansas - I like the water too much - it was truly the most pleasant state I have probably ever visited.

Even my friend Iris agreed.

You may be wondering who Iris is, and that would be a good question. Iris is my 25-cent plastic wall-climber ninja that accompanies me on my travels. Before you think I've lost my mind, let me explain. Our office hires three seasonal recruiters each year, and usually, they come up with some kind of gimmick. One year, they created a scavenger hunt bingo card. Another year, they sent our office a post card from each stop. This year, they decided to take the Expedia traveling gnome concept and tweak it - the traveling wall-climber ninja. Only, since we're (we, because they decided to include me in the game) all in different places simultaneously, we each have one. Mine's name is Iris.

Here you can see us both in front of the KU stadium. Oh, to have been there on a Saturday.

Maybe it's time to go back to school

2010-09-07T21:42:00.006-04:00

On the plane today, I sat with two other recruiters from my school. Both have graduated from law school, and both are about my age. As we got settled, we began to talk about the books we had brought to read on the plane. Recruiter 1 pulls out Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations, the 18th century economic masterpiece that is the foundation for the American economy. Recruiter 2 pulls out a legal book that she helped write during her summer internship in DC. And then I pull out my book - about Facebook.

Perhaps, as Elizabeth said on Bachelor Pad, I really am a "dumb smart girl."

I did, however, also finish a book today called, I Am Hutterite, one of the books I signed up to review AGES ago. thanks to a complimentary copy from Booksneeze. The memoir of Mary-Ann Kirkby, I Am Hutterite tracks the life of a young girl raised in the strict religious community of the Canadian Hutterites (similar to the Mennonite or Amish communities of the US), who then learns to adapt to the "English" world when her family suddenly leaves the community in search of a new life of freedom.

I really enjoyed this book. Kirkby's writing style is very readable, her anecdotes fun, and I found myself seeing life inside the Hutterite community come alive. The front of the book quotes Publisher's Weekly as saying the book is "as riveting and well-paced as a novel", and that description is completely accurate.

More than just being entertaining, though, Kirkby's story really did make me think about what's important in life. Rather than dwelling on all the restrictions of colony life - as I expected to read - Kirkby paints a picture of the beauty of life's simplicity, and challenged me to think about what is really important in my life, as well as why those things are important.

Kirkby's book tells of tragedy and joy, of triumph and defeat, of love, forgiveness, and the full range of human emotions, while maintaining its uplifting and engaging style. I would highly recommend it to anyone who wants a sweet story of faith and of coming-of-age.

So, go read it! Or, at least read something a LITTLE more intellectual than a book about facebook (even if it written by a college professor - I feel like that doesn't really help.).

Getting my frequent flyer miles worth

2010-09-06T21:46:00.004-04:00

As I prepare to begin all of my fall travels again, I'm getting pretty excited about one of my favorite ways to meet men - on the plane.

Now, I've never actually gotten a date out of a plane-meeting, although one guy did ask me to get some food with him during our layover. (He was cute, too - I was sad it ended with Sbarro.) But, I love flying because there is always that romantic potential. You just never know who you might end up sitting by. He could be a wealthy, 30-something Portuguese business man from Malibu who parties with Charles Barkley.

Or, she could be a sweet grandma who wants to tell you all about what her babies are doing to change the world.

Hopefully, though, it's the former, as it was in February on my long 5-hour flight to California. I could have stayed on that plane all day.

Usually, though, I'm sitting next to an engineer. I don't know why this is, but during my travels last year, I kept a tally of how many engineers I had met. I lost count around 23 or 24. It even got to the point where whenever a man sat down next to me, instead of asking, "what do you do?", I would just ask, "are you an engineer?" They always thought I had observed them watching the mechanics of the wings or something. Typical.

Usually, these engineers are married, and considerably older than me. So, unfortunately, they're not very helpful in the husband-prospect arena. However, they are intelligent, and we usually have pleasant - albeit sometimes a little dry - conversation. Side note - after one such conversation, I have been told that I was the most entertaining person he'd ever talked to on a plane. I really wasn't sure if that was a compliment or not.

So, while I haven't yet found a long-term man mid-air, hope springs eternal. I have met some really interesting people; got to chat for hours with a wealthy, worldly, gorgeous man whose circle I would otherwise have never run in; and learned way more than I ever needed to know about mechanical/chemical/electrical/computer/whatever-other-types-there-are engineering. Which could come in handy.

The moral of the story - always dress to impress, because you just never know when that engineer sitting next to you in coach is going to be single.

What about you all - any good plane meet-cutes? (If you don't know that term, watch the Holiday. Your life will be enriched.)

I might be a Maxxinista

2010-09-04T15:14:00.004-04:00

I'm not sure that anyone ever reads my blog on the weekends, so I tend to not be very good at writing on those blessed days. But, because I don't want anyone who might read on the weekend to think I have abandoned you, I have two things to say.

1) TJ Maxx is quickly becoming my favorite store. I got my shoes for Mary's wedding there. And, then today, I got these there.
For $3.

2) I'm trying to convince one of my male friends to do an anonymous guest post on meeting guys/talking to them/something dating related. He's a great writer and I'm sure he would have a lot to say. But, he's stubborn. So, in the comments, if you would like to hear a man's perspective, please let it be known. And also, please say what you'd like to hear from him about.

That is all. Have a great weekend, everyone!

Just another day in paradise

2010-09-01T22:03:00.004-04:00

Here are a few snapshots from my day. Because much of it bears repeating.

7:00 am - I go for a run on the track behind my house. I see an African-American man running shirtless. I stare at him. I am convinced he is Darius Rucker (country singer/former Hootie and the Blowfish frontman).

7:10-7:40 am - Darius Rucker look-alike passes me 5 times during the 2 times I run around the 1.5 mile track. I am further convinced he is the man himself. And that I'm a slow runner.

9:00 am - I google "Darius Rucker shirtless" to compare with my memory. My search turns up no further evidence, but I know it was him.

9:30am-6:15pm - I work. Like a mad woman because I'm about to begin traveling and there is still a ton that needs to be done.

6:30 pm - Sushi with friends. My friend Leesa is addicted to sushi. So now I am also. So good. So expensive.

8:15 pm - I tell a lie at the library. I really do feel bad about this. I don't lie, anyway, but I especially don't lie in a place like the library - that's like lying in church! I was just kinda stuck, and took the easy way out. And then when I realized how to fix it, it was too late. I couldn't very well tell the lady, "well, actually, I just lied to you. Let me change my answer." Oh well. Next time I go to the library, I will right this wrong, I promise.

8:45 pm - Trip to Wal-Mart. Bad. Decision. Not only is today the first of the month, but we also have a hurricane a-brewin'. There have been no reports that this hurricane will actually land in Virginia. But, you wouldn't know that by looking at the milk and bottled water cases.

9:15 pm - Debit card arrives. I've been money-less for about a month now. Money-less I am no more.

10:00 pm - Fantasy football draft strategy planning sesh. I've placed every year. This year, I'm gonna win it all!

10:30 pm -bedtime. Because a day like mine can really wear a girl out!

Anyone ever thought you saw a celebrity but just weren't QUITE sure? Who did you see? Anyone else braved the threat of a hurricane? Or a real one? And is lying in a library about the worst thing I could do?

Don't cha wish your shoes were hot like mine?

2010-08-31T21:13:00.004-04:00

In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm not much of a picture taker. From Mary's entire wedding weekend, I have 20 pictures, at least one-third of which are of me and her niece trying to take a picture of ourselves - that's way harder than it looks.

I'm sure more pictures will come. Another of Mary's bridesmaids is a lot better with a camera than I am, and then we'll have the professional ones, too. (Side note, the professional photographers asked us if they could use us as models in the future. I'm sure they say that to all the girls. I'm choosing to believe we were all just that attractive.)

But, one photo I know will not be in any of those collections is of my shoes. I think it's because everyone was jealous; there is simply no other explanation for why my footwear was not immortalized on film. These shoes are that good.

So, before I tell you any more about the wedding, and before I finish my two-part series on how to talk to men, I want to show you my shoes. I feel like in all the hustle-and-bustle of my friend getting married, my shoes were somehow overlooked and not properly appreciated. It was as if people thought the bride was more important than silver sequins or something. Imagine that.

Aren't they the prettiest things you've ever seen? If I tell you I only paid $20 for them, do they get any prettier? I thought so.

So, do you come here often?

2010-08-30T19:17:00.004-04:00

I've been asked lately exactly how this whole talking to guys thing works. And I guess I didn't explain that very well. I gave you the "how-tos" on inducing conversation, and then just left you hanging - sorry about that!

So, tonight, I want to focus on precisely what to say after you put on your smile and your sports jersey/heavy metal t-shirt/coffee house beret/chainmail, or whatever it is you're wearing to attract the kind of guy you want. Because despite all of that, breaking the ice can still be difficult.

Ideally, the guy makes the first move. That's why I like the sports apparel. It's inviting. And the more controversial the team, the better. Take the Red Sox/Yankees, for example. Love 'em or hate 'em, they're extremely popular teams and feelings run deep on both sides. So, chances are, you're going to run into a guy who will say either, "Hey, go Red Sox!" or "Your team's not doing so hot again this year" (or some more interesting form of mockery. I'm not very good at trash talking.). This will, hopefully, lead to a "wanna grab a drink while we watch my team demolish yours?" Or something to that effect. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Let's focus first on if the guy makes the first move. We can discuss tomorrow how you can make the first move, should you find yourself in a position where it is necessary.

Using a sports t-shirt as my example, just because it is the one with which I am most familiar, say a guy comes up to you and says, "Go Colts!" If he says it as he's walking away, just smile and say, "Yeah, go Colts!". He's probably not wanting to stop and talk, but it could be a good foundation for the next time you see him. If, however, he slows as he's passing and says, "Hey, go Colts!", you can say something to the effect of, "Oh, are you from Indiana?" Unless he's completely rude, which, chances are, he's not, since he said something to you in the first place, he'll stop and answer you. And based on his answer, you may be able to sidestep the sports conversation altogether - a helpful thing if you, you know, are only wearing the t-shirt to attract men.

So what comes next? Let's look at a couple different scenarios here. You ask, "are you from Indiana?" He says, "No, I just really think Peyton Manning is the greatest quarterback to ever walk the face of the earth."

You can reply in two different ways. One, you can agree with him. Because that's a very true statement. But you might have to add something sports-related to the comment, such as "but what do you think about this new rule regarding the refs and how it'll affect his no-huddle offense?" This is a great thing to say if you like sports. If you don't, though, you'll have to redirect the conversation, which brings me to my second option - redirecting the conversation.

In order to pull off a sports-apparel conversation appropriately, you have to at least know SOMETHING about the team. Even if it's just a "well, I started following them because Kendra was married to Hank Baskett. But, now that he's been traded, I still have the t-shirt." Not ideal, but at least the conversation is still going. You can follow up immediately with a "I'm not even from Indiana. I'm actually from ____". Then you're totally off sports. Or, even better, you can say, "So, if you're not from Indiana, where are you from?" Men love talking about themselves.

If, however, the guy replies to your original question that yes, he is from Indiana, the conversation is so much easier for the non-sports lover. Either you will have the opportunity to say, "Oh, which part?", and then talk about how you've been/never been there, or he will ask if you're from there, you can say no, and then tell him where you are from.

Easy, peasy, right? The best part is, these principles can apply to any area of interest. You're wearing an ACDC shirt, he says, "Hey, I love them!" You say, "Oh, you listen to classic rock?" You have a tattoo, he says, "Sweet ink." You say, "I got it done at _______." You pull up on your Harley, he says, "Nice bike." You say, "thanks. Do you ride?" Just keep the conversation going until he's hooked.

Notice that nothing I have said has been overtly flirtatious. There is no need to get overly creative or cute - just be yourself and ask questions that you would ask in any normal conversation. If he's interested, he'll take the lead with the flirty stuff, after you've been interesting. And if not, it's good practice for the next guy who says, "Go Colts!"

Any other tips that have worked for you?

Country roads, take me HOME!

2010-08-29T21:29:00.003-04:00

What a weekend! Yesterday, one of my best friends got married, so I have been in West Virginia for the past few days celebrating! Over the next couple posts, I will tell you all about it, including my amazing shoes that almost overshadowed the bride.

Tonight, though, I have a lot to do before an early day at work, and I'm exhausted from driving all day. So, let me just leave you with a few thoughts about the nearly God-forsaken place that is the state of West Virginia.

I hate that state.

I know those are harsh words. And I'm sorry if you're from there and I offend you. I'm also just sorry if you're from there. Because it's an awful place. Really awful. My motto for the weekend, whenever something went wrong - which it did often - was simply this: "We're in West Virginia."

I can't figure out why the entire state is so backwards. I don't know why the nicest hotel in town couldn't find clean linens for the bridal luncheon. Or why we left the nicest spa in the area looking like a 12 year old had painted our nails. I'm not sure why the female construction workers there are on the job with their platinum blond hair streaming out of their helmets to the middle of their backs. Or, why the strip clubs and porn shops are in the middle of shopping centers, and the parking lots are in the front of the buildings so everyone can see who's buying smut. And I certainly don't know why gas is 30 cents more a gallon there.

None of these things can be explained. And I don't want to dwell on them, anymore. Suffice it to say, I'm glad to be back in the real Virginia again, where there may be WAY more cops on the highways, but at least the highways are straight, and not winding around a mountain. And the gas is $2.35 a gallon. And I cannot tell you where the nearest porn shop is. And the linens at hotels are clean.

I will, however, miss that 70 mph speed limit. WV, you do have one thing going for you.

(Please don't yell at me if you're from WV! Anyone else feel strongly about this state? Any other states you'd like to see carved out of the union?)

The horse isn't dead, so I will continue to beat it

2010-08-24T22:43:00.004-04:00

Oh, bloggy friends, I don't have much time tonight to write, seeing as one of my best friend's is getting married this weekend, I'm leaving tomorrow at 2:00 to go to the wedding, it's now 10:45, and I have packed not a single thing. Nor am I finished wrapping her gifts.

But, I will leave you with this one thought. My sports attire theory is seriously fail-proof. I know I've said it before. But, for real this time - you have to believe me.

Today, I went to the mall right after working out. I smelled bad. My hair was a mess. And I was wearing my Giants t-shirt. As a direct result of this shirt, a guy working in a store struck up a conversation with me that led to an invitation to go see a game with him. At Lucas Oil Stadium (where the Colts play). In Indiana. This invitation was followed swiftly by a ring-check of my left hand. I didn't notice said ring-check until my new friend called himself out on it, and apologized for being inappropriate. Yes, buddy, I suppose that was inappropriate, but since you are still hitting on me even as those words come out of your mouth, I do doubt the sincerity of your apology. Add to that the fact that as I walked out of the store you called after me that the offer still stands, any credibility your apology might have still been clinging to was lost.

Ok, in the interest of full disclosure, I was in a sports store when this incident occurred. Minor detail. The point is the sports shirt will never let you down. Unless you hate sports and want to find a man who also hates sports. In which case, you will be severely disappointed in the results of my advice.

"Natalie was just so welcoming at the beginning"

2010-08-23T20:48:00.004-04:00

This whole Bach Pad thing is driving me crazy - and I cannot stop watching it! Here's what I think so far...

- Gia has completely lost my respect. I loved her in Jake's season but I just can't handle watching her insecurities anymore! It's so sad to me that she didn't have enough love as a child, or whatever it is that makes a beautiful swimsuit model walk around crying and believing that Love Don't Come Easy. But, I'm over it.

- While we're on the subject of Gia, it's completely unfair for her to blame Nikki for messing up the strategy last week. Because if she had followed HER OWN plan and given Craig M. the rose, instead of following her own-already-has-a-boyfriend-heart to Wes, Nikki would not have been the deciding vote.

- Nikki is an Eeyore. She also needs to get over her insecurities. But, then, I guess insecurities are what compels people to go on the Bachelor in the first place.

- Kiptyn is making me mad this episode. I can understand his strategy of not wanting to too closely align himself with Tenley - maybe. Except in everyone's mind, they're already together, so moot point. Regardless, though, if he didn't want to snuggle, he could have explained that it was for strategy, instead of making my fave Disney Princess feel like he was rejecting her personally. Jerk move, Kiptyn. It's ok, Tenley! You're still the best in my book!

- I'm a big fan of Peyton. Besides the fact that she has an AMAZING first name, she seems like such a sweet, down-home nice girl. And I like her and Jesse B. together. Hope they make it! But I wouldn't bet $250,000 on it.

- If Elizabeth - or anyone, but she's the worst offender - says the chopping block one more time, I think I'm going to scream! That dumb smart girl needs to expand her vocabulary.

- Speaking of Elizabeth, that girl is one witch with a B. Seriously, I don't know how she has ever had a friend in the world. Ok, so maybe Weatherman isn't that great a kisser - is it REALLY necessary to spit out his saliva afterward? He will see this later. Trust me, I've had my fair share of bad kisses - I have never spit them out afterward.

- I don't know if I'd actually date Weatherman, but I'd be tempted to. Bad kisser or no, that boy is hilarious. He's singing about Craig M's hair right now.

- I won't tell you the end result, but I'm shocked. And she did it to herself.

What do you think of the show? Any other insights that I missed? Favorite parts?

P.S. One of my friends just got a call to be interviewed as a Bachelor. OMG, how fun would it be to actually know someone on the show? I'll tell you: SO. FUN. If he goes, you better believe that for the time he's on the show, I will blog of nothing else. Fingers crossed!!!!

Nothing a good visit to the closet can't fix

2010-08-22T19:50:00.004-04:00

I spent the entire weekend searching for furniture for my still bare apartment. Yes, I have lived here over 3 weeks now. No, I don't particularly enjoy laying on the floor when I watch a movie. But, finding a couch is much harder than you would think.

In all honesty, there were so many more things about this weekend that frustrated me - the couch-hunting was just the biggest (literally) item on my list. Several of these frustrations were guy-related. Of course. A couple were friend related. Some were just practical - like every light turned red as I pulled up. Or the microwave I bought at Wal-Mart has to be returned for a 2nd time. Or the TV I bought weighs 100 pounds AND could not immediately fit into my entertainment center.

But, yesterday, I realized that I have a happy place. Now, whenever I'm frustrated or sad or upset about anything, I can go to my happy place. And that place is...

My closet.

I took some pictures, but they hardly do it justice. Still, I want to share.
Don't my shoes look so pretty?

To give you a better idea of the depth of the closet:

Yes, those are more shoes.

And because I still need more room for my shoes, here is my closet door:

I've never had a closet quite this wonderful. I can actually sit on the floor in there if I wanted to. And you know, someday I really just might. Because seeing all of my pretty clothes and shoes so neatly arranged - as superficial as they may all be - does make me feel better. I feel like, in at least one area of my life, I am put together and organized. And when your day - or days - is that bad, you'll take what you can get.

Side note: people talk about a "prayer closet", a place where you can get alone with God and really spend time with him. If I turn my actual closet into a prayer closet, then it will REALLY make me feel better when I sit in there! Brilliant idea, if I do say so myself.

Yo quiero...anything but

2010-08-19T21:12:00.004-04:00

I've met a lot of guys over the years, in a lot of different places. Of course, my favorite place to meet guys is on a military base. Unfortunately, that's not always possible, seeing as I have no security clearance, no military ID, and there are only a few military concerts each summer.

But, I can safely say that my LEAST favorite place to meet a man is Taco Bell. Especially if the guy I'm meeting is the manager.

Please don't misunderstand. I have nothing against Taco Bell managers, per se. I'm sure they work hard and are good people. But, I do have something against Taco Bell managers named "Joe" (aka Amir) who make passes at their customers. Twice.

The first time I met Joe, I had run into the local Taco Bell for a 7-layer burrito - because that's pretty much the only thing I ever order there. While I was in the store, Joe happened to see me, came to the front, and tried to create conversation by asking me if I needed a job. I kinda felt I should be a little insulted that he thought I looked unemployed (although technically I was). The fact that he would assume so, though, rubbed me the wrong way. Plus, I was still hopeful to find something that paid a little bit above minimum wage. So, I turned him down, chalked that up to the most bizarre pick-up line ever, and went on my way, burrito safely in hand.

The next time I met Joe was several months later, when I went in to that same Taco Bell, ordered that same 7-layer burrito, and was subjected to that same pick-up line - "do you want a job?" Clearly Joe did not remember me. Clearly he used the same lame line with every girl. And, I was not having any of it. I politely told him no; then, when he pushed it, told him a little less politely that I had a master's degree and worked at a university. He said I should be proud of myself; I said I was. Then he asked me out to dinner.

Although I did not accept Joe's invitation to dinner that night, nor his job offer, and I have never been back to that Taco Bell, I have always wondered what would have been on that date's menu. Because if it were 7-layer burritos, I might have made the wrong decision.

What was your most bizarre intro to a flirtatious conversation? Ever been offered a job in hopes of securing a date?

Young girls will dream about the boys of fall

2010-08-18T21:00:00.001-04:00

This year I am in at least 2, possibly 3, fantasy football leagues. I am also traveling a ton again this fall, and trying to coordinate my trips around the games. The men in my office teased me about this. That's when I knew I had a problem.

But, I like my problem, and I have no interest in changing it. The other night, my heart hurt over Eli Manning's boo-boo:
I got angry over Brett Favre's antics. Again.
And I wished I lived in Cincinnati right now because Ochocinco is tweeting that he needs a date for the movies tonight.
(Don't we make a cute couple?)

The anticipation continues to grow, even as we're not even half-way through the preseason. So, in honor of the greatest sport of all, I want to show you my new favorite music video of all. If you like country music, you'll like this. If you liked high school/college, you'll like this. If you liked football, you'll love this.

Take it away, Mr. Chesney.

(P.S. My love appears at about the 6 minute mark. He's so wonderful.)

I am totally spontaneous...on Tuesdays and Fridays

2010-08-17T20:36:00.006-04:00

There are few things in life that will irritate me as much about a guy as not planning.

I like going on dates, and I have lots of good ideas for them. But, I do think the asker of a first date should be the planner. And since I'm not the kind of girl to make the first move, that means the guy better have something up his sleeve. Original is nice. A plan is a must.

I can't tell you how many dates I have had to plan. The old, "We can do whatever you want" routine. No, that's not how this game works. I want to do whatever you plan for us to do. If it's lame, it's lame. I'm really not concerned about that. I'm more concerned with the man taking the initiative.

Beginning with my prom date my sophomore year of high school, I have sometimes always been surrounded by guys who don't plan. Prom is another post in and of itself, but let me just explain two things: a) I drove. b) We were home by 11 - because he didn't plan.

The next time I went on a date was my college blind date, and again, I was with a non-planner. This one was SO not planned that we didn't even know what we were doing until we were in the car. Bad things happen when you wait to decide what to do until you're in the car - things like ending up at Steak N' Shake.

One of my dates in grad school was planned by me - again not by choice, mind you. The real problem, though, was that I was new to the area, and I didn't know what was out there to do. So, boring movie and ice cream it was. Oh, and we got lost on the way to the movie.

But, by far, the worst non-planner I dated was my ex-boyfriend. While he was happy to do whatever I suggested, that was just the problem -he never suggested ANYthing! First date? Planned by me (oh, and again, I drove, because he only had a motorcycle. Figures). Second and third dates? Planned by me. Break-up date? Again, planned by me (although, I am glad I get credit for that one). The one time he did think of something for us to do together, he ended up having to cancel for reasons that I will not embarrass him by sharing on my blog. But they were bad reasons. (That day, I went shopping, and found some of the best retail therapy of my life! Thank you, Charlotte Russe, for your cute, having-a-bad-day shoes!)

So now, I have higher expectations. If a guy doesn't want to plan the first date, he might as well not ask me out. Because I'm done with wearing the pants every. single. time. And because I'm tired of mini golf and movies, which is about the extent of my date idea repertoire. Guys - learn from those who have gone before you (or even from your own mistakes) and PLAN! I don't care if the plans change. I don't care if you want to be spontaneous down the road. And I don't care if your idea of a fun night is totally different than mine, although if it is, maybe we're not the best match anyway. All I'm saying is that for the first date, and at least half of the subsequent ones, your ideas need to be your own. And I do not need to be asked, "Well, what do you want to do?"

Girls - do you agree with me, or am I just a non-control freak? Guys - are you guilty? Do you have a different perspective on the matter?

Hanging out the passenger side of his best friend's ride

2010-08-16T18:38:00.003-04:00

Everyone needs a little help meeting someone - a little way to break the ice. Yeah, there are the people who literally run into the man they end up marrying. Or, they spill coffee on the girl they end up falling in love with. Or, they find the guy's wallet, and he just happens to be a good looking, single, Christian guy (seriously, that happened to one of my friends.)

But, for most of us, we've all got to start the conversation somehow. Which is why I suggest wearing sports t-shirts 24-7 (that's a slight exaggeration, but Wal-Mart has some NFL tshirts right now that are actually really cute - I might wear it even if it didn't say NY Giants across it.) However, not everyone wears athletic clothing. And, not everyone is good at looking for things to naturally discuss. So, how do some people create a conversation out of nothing?

They use lines.

Now lest you misunderstand, I am not in any way advocating a stored volume of cheesy phrases that can be whipped out any time a cute girl with legs walks by. I much prefer when a guy puts some effort into saying something that would actually be relevant to me. However, a really funny joke could get my attention in the right setting.

A "Damn, baby, you lookin' fine" never will.

The best line a guy has ever used on me, though, was actually not a pick-up line at all. And, I don't think he had it stored - he just happened to wax poetic on that night.

One night a couple years ago, the guy I was dating and I went over to Mt. Trashmore to hang out, and we wandered over to the amazing playground my parents had always told me was too far away from us (and then I learned to drive, clocked it, and realized that was not entirely true.) This playground has all kinds of wooden shelters and forts, and he and I climbed to the top of one, into what looked like a spire of a castle. While we were up there, he kissed me, and afterwards, he said, "I'm going to come back tomorrow and tell all these kids that this is my castle." When I asked why, he said,

"Because I kissed the princess."

Altogether now..."awww!"

Seriously, it was the cutest thing a guy's ever said to me. And it's the only story - good or bad - that ever comes to my mind when I think about lines. We weren't together long, and there were so many things wrong with our relationship, but whenever I think back on him, I always have fond memories because of that one little sentence.

What about you guys? What's the best line someone has used on you (or you have used on someone else)? Pick-up line or otherwise. And even better, what's the worst?

People need the Lord

2010-08-15T21:21:00.004-04:00

I haven't written a Sermon Sunday in a while. But, I actually have one today. So, carpe diem!

Yesterday, I went to see Eat, Pray, Love. I really didn't know a lot about the movie, except I like Julia Roberts - that was pretty much enough. And, I did like the movie. The scenery was beautiful, the acting very good, and the story was interesting. I'm not going to really review it here, but I think it was worth my $8 (holla for discounted movie tickets!)

The part that I do want to talk about though, is the part that made me cry (of course - because I cry in almost every movie. And most TV shows.) Throughout the movie, Julia Roberts's character, Liz, is on this journey to "find herself." She goes all over the world in search of this intangible objective, spending time in adoration of an Indian guru and studying under a Balinese medicine man. The movie even opens with her praying in desperation to, what I assume, is the Christian God, closing her prayer with, "It's nice to finally meet you."

Along the way, Liz meets various other people who, like her, are searching for some meaning in their lives, including one "Richard from Texas". Richard has had a tragic past, but as he works on forgiving himself, he tells Liz she needs to do the same. And in so doing, she will realize her great capacity to love the entire world, and to share light wherever she goes.

Everything Richard says to Liz sounds so beautiful. We should love everyone and spread goodness wherever we go. And yet, it is all so empty because it is based on a false foundation - that goodness can be found within oneself. Here are these two broken people searching for meaning in EVERYthing except the one thing in which it actually can be found - a relationship with the Lord. Liz and Richard and so many other people in this movie have experienced such pain and unrest, and they find themselves with this deep void. So, they travel around the world, trying desperately to fill it - with carbohydrates, devotion, relationships. Yet, nothing comes close to taking away the pain. They continue to search and to struggle and to look for the answers to life's problems within themselves.

And that's why I cried. The answer for Liz, and Richard, and so many millions of other people like them is so simple - Jesus. He provides the peace that we're all longing for, the love that never fails. And He fills that void that we all have - plus, it's a lot cheaper than traveling across the world for a year. All that Liz needed to do was ask Him, and He would have provided whatever she needed. Not materially, necessarily, because that's really not what she needed, anyway. But, spiritually and soulfully.

But, she didn't know. She didn't know, and Richard didn't know, and the people surrounding them in this journey didn't know. Presumably, because no one had told them. No one had given them the one thing they were most looking for. That's heartbreaking to me. And convicting.

So, go see the movie. But let it remind you to look for those who are so desperately searching, and to share with them answer that you've found in Jesus. Or, if you are one of those who is searching, know that you need to look no further than to the Bible, where you will meet the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

Stand by your man

2010-08-14T15:42:00.005-04:00

Oh, Cable Internet. You and I used to have such an intimate, loving relationship. We used to bond over hours of blog reading and facebook stalking. We spent countless days just idly passing the time together. We laughed. We cried. We made new friends and said goodbye to old ones.

But lately, dear Internet, I feel that we've grown distant. I've tried to connect with you, but you've given me weak signals at best. The time that I long to spend with you, I now find myself filling with things like cleaning and reading books. I'm not sure what has become of my life.

Our crumbling relationship is even affecting my other friendships. My blog friends think I don't care about them. My fb friends are deprived of my too-frequent status updates. Ochocinco's twitter account gets way fewer hits, and I am sure he has noticed.

So, my closest friend, what do you suggest we do about this problem? I want you in my life - I would dare say even that I need you. But, you torture me with your going in and out, your buffering, and your mysterious "no signal available" messages. Please, consider what you are doing to me - how you hold my life in the palm of your hand. Say you will be faithful. Say that I won't need to pay $50 more dollars a month to switch over to your cousin, DSL. Say that we can go back to that place we once knew - a place where you were happy to be at my beck and call. I promise, that if you do, I will never do anything to hurt you. I will post only intelligent, profound, or funny things on my blog and facebook and twitter - never what I ate for lunch. I will check you regularly, and tell all of my friends how wonderful you are. You will be my constant companion, once again.

Please think about all that I've said, Internet. I beg of you.

Yours forever,
Sarah Beth

Here, I'll give him your phone number

2010-08-11T22:00:00.003-04:00

"I know this guy. You'd really like him."

Famous last words.

By a show of hands, how many of you have ever gone on a blind date?

Ok, now, if your blind date was actually pleasant, put your hand down. Hmm...that's funny. No one's hand moved.

I have been on my fair share of blind dates. Or semi-blind dates, as a profile picture on an online dating profile in no way is an accurate reflection of the actual person. And they've failed me over and over. Not that all the guys were bad - some were just not right for me (but some were really, really bad). However, I wouldn't exactly say that any of my blind dates were positive experiences.

The very first blind date I went on happened to be the first and only date of my college career (see: ring by spring failure). I should have known that it was a bad idea when the friend that set us up was his ex-girlfriend. All kinds of warning signs there that would require way too much analysis for this blog post.

Anyway, my date - we'll call him Jeff - called me and after talking for a little while, we decided on a time to go out that Friday. I wasn't sure what we were doing, but I wasn't too worried about it because, he's the guy - that's his job, right?

Wrong. (Side note: That's another post. Guys who don't plan dates. Hate it.)

Jeff had absolutely no plan whatsoever. We got in the car and he asked me what to do. Since I was a freshman and had been in the town for, oh, I don't know, 2 weeks, I didn't have any good ideas. So, we drove around. For a long-ish time. (20 minutes of aimless driving on an awkward first date seems like FOREVER.) Finally, we decided on a restaurant: Steak N' Shake.

For those of you not from the South or Midwest, you may not be acquainted with Steak N' Shake. It's ok - your arteries are glad.

I had already eaten dinner before the date, so I just ordered a milkshake. The only thing I really remember about our conversation that night is how Jeff kept talking about how he wanted to gain weight, etc. And then he didn't finish his milkshake. So, then, of course, I couldn't finish mine - I wasn't going to be the-girl-who-downs-her-milkshake-in-front-of-the-guy-who-wants-to-gain-weight-but-can't-even-finish-his! No one wants to be that girl. (But, I was mad. Because I really wanted that milkshake.)

After dinner, the date just continued its downward spiral. But, the rest isn't really even interesting enough to report. So, I'll skip to the punchline. He said he'd call, he didn't, I didn't care. And then he got back together with my friend who set us up, and they've been happily married for a few years now.

All's well that ends well, I always say.

Ok, so that's my first (and sadly, not last) blind date story. I want to hear yours!

(P.S. If "Jeff" or his wife ever read this, I really like both of you - no hard feelings, I promise!)

An open letter to my friends

2010-08-11T09:27:00.003-04:00

Dear Friends,

I don't want you to think I have abandoned you. I meant to write something last night. Truly I did. But you see, my internet connection at home is very poor, and I can only keep it for a few minutes if I lie on my bed facing the corner. That position is not very comfortable, but it is also not very conducive to my finicky charger that only likes to be on flat, solid surfaces. I'm not trying to make excuses. I simply want to explain my blogging troubles.

Of course, what good is presenting a problem, if I do not also present a solution? So, I fully intend to change my blogging habits, and stay late at work to write until I get this internet sitch fixed. I would never want to leave you all behind.

So, thank you for your patience and understanding during this time. And please stay tuned as tonight, we will be talking about everyone's favorite subject - blind dates.

Love,
Sarah Beth

Bring on the crazies!

2010-08-09T21:19:00.003-04:00

O.M.G. Bachelor Pad is some intense drama! And I love every single minute of it.

I do feel bad, though, for girls who pine over guys that are clearly not interested. Like, Elizabeth for example. Jesse is SO not into her, and she can't see it. Or doesn't want to.

I've known girls like this in real life. I used to be one. I can't tell you how many guys I liked in jr high/high school/college that either didn't know I existed or if they did, couldn't care less. And that's nothing against them. Sometimes there's a spark. And sometimes there is so not. But, instead of moving on when there was nothing there, I kept trying. Beating my head against a brick wall, I like to call it.

And then, I read this little book called He's Just Not That Into You. I've written about this book (and the masterful movie that's based on it) many, many times. But, it bears repeating. As the authors of HJNTIY say, "DON'T WASTE THE PRETTY!" There are guys out there who would love to be with Elizabeth (despite her CRAZY!). Or with me. Or with you. But, instead, we waste our time trying to convince the one guy (or girl) who doesn't want to be with us that we're worth his time. All the while, we're missing the point that he's not worth ours.

Since I've adapted this principal of moving on when a guy's not interested, I've cried a heck of a lot less. Yeah, it's not a fun realization that the guy I've eyed has not eyed me. But, it's a lot less painful (and less embarrassing) after a week or two than after a month or two. Or a year or two. Trust me.

What do you guys think of the new show? Or about Elizabeth's crazy? Any insights on HJNTIY? Do you agree with me that this is the best dating advice that I have ever given you? (Hint: it is.)

Is it September 9 yet?

2010-08-08T20:38:00.004-04:00

If you're not a sports person, you may be dreading the next five or six months. Because, like it or not, this blog will take a decidedly athletic direction. I can't help it. I love football. I tried to start a sports blog so that I wouldn't have to use space on this one for the guy topics, but, let's be real - it's just not going to be possible for me to keep all football talk out of this blog. I am SO excited for the season. I was even doing a little dance in my room tonight before the preseason game started. If you're not familiar with football, preseason games mean NOTHING. And, the starters only play for the first couple of series. So, I really shouldn't be that excited. Except that these meaningless games do mean something to me - they mean that it's almost time!

If you hate sports, though, don't worry. I'm still going to keep you updated on my dating life (or lack thereof). And of course we'll still talk about shoes! However, those posts may now go something like this...

I have a new favorite shoe. The Reebok Zigtech. I'm not sure that this shoe is even available for women. I don't think it is. If it were, I still probably wouldn't buy it, because these shoes are not very cute. They are, however, endorsed by two of my favorite men in the entire world. Chad Ochocinco, and the one and only Peyton Manning.

At first, I didn't really like these commercials, because they hardly showed Ocho's face. I even blogged about it. But, I've come to realize that while Reebok may not be have good commercial writers, they are brilliant when it comes to lining up endorsements. Because whenever I see Peyton's smiling face on the TV, if only for a moment, I want to buy whatever he's selling. I wouldn't care if it were men's shoes or fiber supplements. If it's good enough for Peyton, it's good enough for me. I even bought that Wheaties Fuel cereal - twice. It's gross, but Peyton's on it. I had to have it.

So, I hope you can bear with me over the next few months. I'll try to keep everything balanced, but sometimes, my love for Peyton cannot be silenced. But, I would like knowing if any of you are fans, as well - please tell me I'm not alone in my love of the pigskin! Who are your teams? (If you say the Patriots, we might not be friends any more. Fair warning.)

P.S. I bought my Tim Tebow jersey t-shirt on Friday. I cannot wait to support my other love.

Sunkissed tans so hot we'll melt your popsicle

2010-08-06T22:52:00.003-04:00

I don't know if you like hearing my weekend updates, but I like telling them. And one day when I'm old and settled in my ways, driving the kids to soccer practice (Oh my gosh, if my kids actually play soccer I might cry), I'll reread these posts and remember the weekends I once had. So, this is for posterity, really.

Tomorrow, I am leaving my house at 7:45 am and heading to the Outer Banks, NC (or OBX, for us locals). Some of you may know this area as the setting of many a Nicholas Sparks novel, which is an unfortunate flaw. (If you're unsure why I say that is a flaw, please read this post.) I know it as the place where Virginia Beach residents go to "get away from it all." Because clearly, the touristy Outer Banks oceanfront that's a 2 hour drive away is much better than the touristy Virginia Beach oceanfront that's a 20 minute drive away.

Oh, I'm making fun of it, but really, the Outer Banks is a nice little get-away, with lots of cute cottages and shops and restaurants. So, I'm heading down bright and early tomorrow with two of my girlfriends to spend all day at the water. The weather should be perfect (mid-80s and sunny? Check!), we've got floats, and we're taking all the chips and dip and sandwiches three girls can eat (which is kind of a lot, actually). Then, for dinner, we've got a sweet hook-up at a big seafood buffet. All you can crack crab legs. (I say it that way because I'm sure I could eat a lot more if they were pre-cracked. I'll get tired of all that work.)

So, that's what I'll be doing tomorrow - reading, relaxing, eating, and talking with my girlfriends. And I am pretty excited about it, in case you couldn't tell.

What are your weekend plans?

And they call it puppy love

2010-08-05T22:35:00.004-04:00

Since the idea for the new direction of my blog stemmed out of my dating experiences, I figured it was about time that I, you know, actually told you about one. But, tonight, I'm going to go back even further to the time when my infatuation with the male gender first began:

Preschool.

I don't remember the boy's name now, but I do distinctly remember running up with one of my friends to a little boy and both of us kissing him on either cheek. And you know he must have been cute. Because if you think I'm picky now, imagine me 21 years ago, before I became jaded with the world and/or pretty boys.

Things only went downhill from K-4. In kindergarten, I liked Bobby Glass, a little blond boy who I so wished would pick me as his wife in the Farmer in the Dell. Instead I was usually the mouse or the cheese (cue your looks of pity). Oh, and Bobby, if you're reading this and you're still cute and needing a farmer's wife, I might consider applying. Please contact me.

First grade, my teacher wrote a comment on my report card that went something like this: "Sarah Beth is a sweet girl and a good student, but she talks to the boys too much." I did like talking to the boys, but what I did not like was at recess, when we played boys against girls, the boys would steal my shoes and throw them around. Even though I think I knew it was flirting, I still didn't like it. Do not mess with my Sam & Libbys!

Second grade, I had a crush on a sixth grader, and I was convinced it would work out because my parents were 4 years apart. I could not, nor did I wish to, understand that 39 and 35 were much, much different than 12 and 8.

In third grade, I liked a boy named Joshua R. Actually, I liked him quite a bit, but apparently it was not reciprocal as I remember my teacher saying, "why don't you like Justin instead? You know he likes you." And the concept of settling was introduced.

Speaking of Josh, when I first moved to Virginia Beach, I substitute taught in a Christian school, and one of my students had the same last name as Josh. I asked him if he knew my third grade friend, and he did - because they're brothers. When I explained that I had had a crush on Josh, the little brother promptly informed me that his brother is now married. Of course.

Fourth through sixth grade passed by in somewhat of a blur. There was always some guy I liked, and he was always older than me - an impossible ambition. Never was there reciprocal affection. Not that it would have mattered. I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16, anyway. Or 14 on a double date (a point my parents conveniently seemed to forget).

Seventh grade came and went, and still nothing. But, I was convinced, and clearly remember saying, that as soon as I turned 14 - the age of double dating - I was going to need a planner to keep all my dates straight (I was such a humble child).

I'm going to give you two guesses as to how many guys I dated in 8th grade, and the first guess doesn't count.

Well, that's not totally fair. I did have a semi-boyfriend in 8th grade, although I refused to call him that. But, that's another story for another day.

Tell me about your first crushes - can you still remember their names? How old were you?

The Bachelorette and the Rent-a-Man

2010-08-03T22:42:00.006-04:00

Spoiler alert - if you somehow have avoided every media outlet in the past 24 hours, and still do not know the results of the Bachelorette, do not continue reading.

Well, friends. The rumors and spoilers I had tried SO hard not to hear were actually proven false! Ali did end up with someone - and the guy who got her first impression rose, Roberto the Hottie! I'm not sure if that's ever happened before - the first impression rose winning (remember that time Jillian gave it to crazy David, the angry guy?) If anyone knows, or has better googling skills than me, do tell!

Here's the thing. Ali's clearly smitten with Roberto - girl couldn't take her eyes off him during ATFR. And, Roberto seems to like her...for now. I've just never trusted him. He's too pretty, too nice, too looks-like-a-bad-boy-but-isn't. And in my very vast dating experience (?), I've yet to meet a guy who, although he looks bad, isn't. If they look it, they are.

Something's got to be wrong with Roberto, and I feel bad for Ali if and when it all comes crashing down. Even if she is bratty. And whiny. And has an annoying laugh. And really bad extensions. No one deserves heart break, so I hope it doesn't come to her.

I do, however, hope Chris L. from Cape Cod comes to me! I agree that Ali should have let him go if she wasn't in love with him...and I further agree that he needs to start dating again. Probably looking first in the Virginia Beach/Hampton Roads area.

On another note, I went to McDonald's today to try their new smoothie (I was enticed by the free fries that came with it). The smoothie is actually good, but that's not the point of this story. No, the point is what I saw in the parking lot, while waiting for said smoothie:
Didn't I JUST say last week that I needed a husband to help me do stuff - like move? And here there is such an animal, right down the street from me! I can remain single for the rest of my life, now, knowing that there are Husbands for Hire. (That is a lie. I'm just happy to know that creative marketing at the local level exists. I still want a real husband).

Side note: that is my red high heel air freshener in the foreground. It makes me happy.

What did you think about Ali's decision?

Baby I got plans tonight, you don't know nothin' about

2010-08-01T21:48:00.008-04:00

So, let's chat about my Friday night, shall we? It all began several weeks ago, when the local concert venue ran a special on Rascal Flatts tickets - $10 a piece. Well, obviously, I snatched those up, especially when I realized that Kellie Pickler (my Red High Heel kindred spirit) was opening for them. And I was perfectly content to sit in the lawn with my $10 ticket. It was a gorgeous night, and unless you're floor level (which I'd never been), the lawn seats are more fun, anyway.

Friday came, and I picked up several of my friends from church to go with me to the show. When we got there, another guy from church was working security. We asked if there was anything he could do for us, and he said he'd see.

Honestly, I didn't expect much, and I wasn't totally sure I'd want whatever he could offer. I like the lawn. But, as Kellie was getting started, he called us and said we could come down. TO THE FLOOR. I was so excited! Yes, we were on the last row of the floor seats, but still - we were so close!

So close, that is, until he called us again and said he had two seats on the THIRD. ROW. Since I had bought the tickets, and since my friend Leesa had taken the initiative to see what we could get out of our security friend, we went down to the front.

OMG. If you ever have the opportunity to be close to the stage at a big concert, TAKE IT! It was super exciting being so close. I felt like I was part of the show. In case you can't really understand just how close we were, I took a picture. Remember - my camera does not have zoom.

That is Joe Don. He pretty much could have sweated on me. Not that I would have minded.

I also took a video. Well, several actually. Because I'm cool like that. Fair warning - I do not stop singing while recording. But, I'm a very good harmonizer, I assure you. Here's a clip of one of my favorite RF songs:

It really was a great show. After a while, Leesa and I went back to our other friends, because I felt bad abandoning them. But, I was so grateful for the chance to see them at all, much less from the third row! It was just what the doctor ordered after an extremely stressful couple of weeks.

Speaking of doctors, though, on a side note, Kellie Pickler needs to see one because that girl is preggo! You heard it hear first. And if she's not pregnant, she needs to fire her stylist because if I can see your belly button through your dress, it is TOO tight! But she should keep whoever picks out her shoes - her Louboutins were fab!

P.S. On my computer, I can't hear the volume on the video, which totally defeats the purpose, obvs. I hope that's not the case for you, but if it is, I have no idea how to fix it. Any suggestions?

The best days of your life!

2010-07-31T18:23:00.003-04:00

Whew, what a weekend! Today was moving day, so I've exhausted myself running around trying to get things organized, and it still looks like a disaster in my apartment. But, I love it. And I'm gonna stay a while. Finally.

I'm about to run out again, but I didn't want to go too long without at least saying hi. So, hi! I'll be back, hopefully tomorrow, to tell you about a) sitting 3rd row at the Rascal Flatts/Kellie Pickler/Chris Young concert (I know. You're jealous.). And b) about the amazing shoes that LITERALLY jumped out at me today. (Ok, maybe figuratively.)

And, then we'll get back to ~~The Young and the Restless~~ my love life.

Hope everyone's having a great weekend!

If I only had a man

2010-07-28T21:37:00.005-04:00

At last, I have discovered the reason people get married, and it has nothing to do with love, sex, tax write-offs, military housing stipends, or children. No, the reason people get married is plain and simple: so they have someone to help them move.

At least, that'd be reason enough for me. I'm moving AGAIN tomorrow - for what, I think, will be the last time for a while - and I'm once again doing it by myself. Sure, I was able to ~~coerce~~ sweet talk a couple guys into helping me move the really heavy stuff on Saturday, but even finding those few helpers was no easy task. Worse, though, is the little things that really get you. The countless trips to my tiny car carrying armfuls of what Mary calls "hang-ups" (good enough for me - what would you call clothes on hangers?); the 4 or more treks across the city to unload my tiny car; the many, many, many steps I've climbed (HT would be proud). All of which - including the amount of time spent - could have been reduced by at least half with a husband.

All of this to say, my Mr. Right checklist just went out the window. From now on, I have one qualifier, and one only: have arms, will carry.

Somebody find me a preacher!

2010-07-27T13:35:00.005-04:00

Lest you think I am completely consumed by finding a man, let me assure you that I have lots of other interests. Like shoes. All 60+ pairs of them.

But, IF I should happen to err on the side of over-zealous, please know that I was trained to be this way. Literally. Four years of "Hey, don't forget to pick up a husband while you're out!" Otherwise known as college.

Don't believe me? Read this article from the front page of the Chattanooga Times Free Press (the biggest newspaper in Southeast Tennessee - and that's ~~not saying much~~ saying something!). It may not be journalism at it's finest, but it's certainly journalism at it's truest!

The MRS degree was by far the most popular at Lee University, and if you were a music or ministry major (or your significant other was), your chance of engagement prior to graduation increased 7-fold - God's holy number, of course. And our President really did pay for dates - no joke.

My freshman year of college, one of my suitemates was married by September (granted, she had come to school a little bit older than us, and already engaged). She and her husband were married on a Saturday afternoon and sitting in chapel Sunday night. My other suitemate got married that summer. Clearly, I lived in the wrong half of the suite.

From that point on, every time we came back from a major break - fall, Thanksgiving, Christmas, spring, Easter, or summer - the number of engaged or married couples grew exponentially. Sophomore year, there were maybe 5 or 6 each break. Junior year, 8-10. By my senior year when facebook really began to take off, it was easy to track numbers upward of 15.

And, the proposal spots were all the same. The clocktower on campus. The walking bridge in downtown Chattanooga. Somewhere in Atlanta for wealthy (but, come on. We were college students. This was a very select group).

When my friends first started marrying off, I felt like I was back in second grade, at Geoff and Tiffany's playground wedding. Over time, I got used to the ritual, and it no longer seemed weird to me that everywhere around me, non-pregnant 19 and 20 year olds were getting married.

Now, though, facebook has presented me with a new phenomenon. All those friends who married young are now having kids - some are on #3 or 4 already. They're buying homes. They've turned into mommy bloggers and domestic housewives. And I still feel like we're playing house. I guess until I get there, I can't really relate. I am happy for them, though, and hope every single one lives happily ever after.

Meanwhile, Lee University's iron-clad ring-by-spring guarantee has yet to pay out. I want my money back!

Did any of you go to Christian schools? Was this pretty true of your schools, too? Or did you go to a state school and think this all sounds like a strange parallel universe of sorts?

29 dimensions of compatibility is still not enough

2010-07-26T22:45:00.007-04:00

This week, eHarmony is having their "biggest free communication event ever!" And, against my better judgment, I am once again participating. Mainly, because I'm bored. And because hope springs eternal.

You may have noticed that online dating was absent from my my where-to-meet-guys post. That's because I'm not a fan. I've tried most of the dating sites out there - Christian, secular, free, paid (although I don't actually pay for them - if you hang around long enough, they'll give you a few days free). And in all those times, I have yet to meet a man I would be genuinely interested in real life. I'm not saying it can't be done. I have a few friends who've met online and it's worked out great. But, I've not had good luck.

Here's my review of a few of the sites I've tried:

eHarmony. Obviously, it's the biggest one. And they do match you up pretty well with people. Provided you answer all those billions of questions correctly. The first time I tried eHarmony, I guess I didn't answer the questions right, as they sent me guys who were afraid to leave their homes. This time, I must have answered better, as I at least get guys who seem to have testosterone. But, eHarmony's major flaw is that if you're not a paying member, you can't see any pictures. And while I know looks aren't everything, attraction is an important part of any relationship. It's hard for me to get really excited about a guy that I have no idea what he looks like.

match.com. All I know about match is that I've gone on a couple dates as a result of it, and they were all bad news. I also know the screening/matching process is not nearly as intensive as eHarmony's, so it's much easier for someone to lie about who they are. (Also speaking from personal experience. I swear he looked 10 years younger in that picture.)

Christiancafe/Christianmingle. I get these two confused because they're essentially the same thing - Christian versions of match. They're not really eHarmony wanna-bes, because they don't have the extensive profile matching system. But, the guys I've talked to on either one of these sites were just as bad news as on any secular site - only of a different variety. (Example: one time, I talked to this guy who, during the first convo, tried to debate predestination and the 5-points of Calvinism with me. When I said I didn't really want to talk theology right then, he said, "Young people these days don't care about doctrine." He was 26.)

Overall, I just think online dating is tough because creating conversations out of nothing is tough. It's much easier to to get to know someone in a setting where there are natural conversation topics. It's also hard to find people in your area through online dating. You might meet a great guy, but if he's in California, and you're in Florida, it's going to be hard to get that relationship off the ground - even if you or he are ultimately willing to relocate.

If you're a good talker, though, and willing to invest some time (and probably money) digging for buried treasure, go for it! (Just make sure there are no spelling errors in your profile. Immediate disqualifier.) Or, if you're like one guy I talked to and are looking for a very specific type of person, then online dating might be the best way to find him/her (seriously, I'm not making fun of this guy - he was nice and seemed pretty normalsville. However, as you may have guessed from my Colombia posts, I do not want to be a missionary in a foreign land, so I simply wish him the best in finding that woman).

However, if you are looking for a nice, not-weird local man or woman, without a laundry list of requirements, I suggest you stick to the other places I suggested. There you are (somewhat) less likely to find people about whom you would say, "Ah. I understand why he is still single."

On the other hand, you will have much better stories if you go out with a few weirdos.

Any of you had good luck on dating sites? Is there a good one that I haven't tried yet? Any awesomely terrible experiences to share?

A woman who'll kiss on the very first date is usually a hussie

2010-07-25T21:31:00.007-04:00

First of all, I LOVED reading all of your comments last week about your first kiss! What a fun topic! And, I was so encouraged to see that many of you were older, too - or, wished that you had been.

Second of all, I want everyone to read Sara's comment on Saturday's post. Way to take a lesson to heart, bloggy friend!

As far as my first kiss, I can't believe you guys are asking me to kiss-and-tell! I'm not that kind of girl! (Says the girl who writes a blog about dating for the entire world to read.) But, there are some more complicated reasons for why I don't really want to get into all the juicy details, so I'm still not going to. However, we can talk about kissing in general.

As I said on Saturday, I'm really not sure how I became an expert on this subject. I hardly think that I am one. But, I do have opinions which I'm happy to share with anyone within earshot, so I'll give it a whirl, anyway, starting with one of your questions from last week.

Have I ever kissed on a first date?

There's that kiss-and-tell thing again! A lady never reveals that sort of information. I will say this, though. I think kissing on a first date is a bad idea. Not because it's immoral or because I want to play games, or anything like that. But, because as a general rule, guys who try to kiss you on a first date are after one thing - and it sure ain't your home-cooking. I've gone out with a lot of great guys, and a lot of not-so-great guys. The great ones have never tried to kiss me on the first date. The not-so-greats always have. You be the judge.

(Yes, I know there are extenuating circumstances. If you've known Joe for 20 years and both of you suddenly realized you were in love with each other, then the above rule probably doesn't apply to you. But, barring that exception, consider yourself warned.)

But, that's just my opinion, based on extensive research conducted over the past several years. Maybe you all have had different experiences? What are your opinions on first-date kissing? Trashy or classy?

(P.S. My title is simply song lyrics from the Music Man. This blog is a no-judgment zone.)

Say this three times fast!

2010-07-23T17:01:00.004-04:00

"Oh well - it'll make a good blog post."

This is how you all have revolutionized my philosophy of dating. Your response to these past few posts have been so encouraging that now, whenever I have a bad dating experience - because there will likely be plenty more - it won't even phase me. I can just restate my new mantra (see above), and laugh it off.

I really am not sure how I so quickly became an expert on all things related to dating. I'm probably the least qualified person to talk about any of this. But you all have asked some great questions, and I do have some really good stories, so I will continue to write. I'll be back on Monday with some more stories from the girl whose good friend once called her a "combo of Lifetime and Comedy Central." Until then, have a great, date-filled weekend!

My first kiss went a little like this

2010-07-22T21:15:00.007-04:00

Wouldn't you know it. Before I had even entered the gym this morning, my tried-and-true sports apparel theory had once again been proven correct. I decided to wear my NY Giants t-shirt this morning, and as I was about to walk in, this man was headed out. We almost had an awkward who-opens-the-door-first moment, but it was avoided when he chivalrously reached out, held the door, and said, "You're wearing the right shirt. I'll get the door for you."

I am telling you. Works. Every. Time.

On yesterday's post, someone wrote a very nice comment and suggested I tell some more of my dating stories and ask you readers for your similar experiences - which I think is a great idea! My blog friend suggested that I start with my first real kiss, and I would love to give you all the details - really. Except I think that guy still reads my blog, so it could be a little awkward.

What I can say is I was 21 years old before I finally kissed a guy, and I had been convinced that the day would never come. It did come, though, and seems now like a distant memory. Still, I am pretty sure that I was the oldest person EVER to have a first kiss.

But, maybe not. What about you guys? Anyone want to admit to being older? Or anyone have a fantastic first kiss story that you can share because your 7th-grade boyfriend does not read my blog?

But I don't have anything to say to him!

2010-07-21T21:25:00.003-04:00

Now that you know WHERE to meet the men, let's talk about the HOW.

The best trick I have is the oldest one in the book - SMILE! Guys are, apparently, afraid to talk to girls sometimes, and while I'm a bit old-fashioned and want a man to make the first real move, I'm not above encouraging him a little. What's great, though, is that often, the only encouragement that's necessary is the easiest thing of all to do: show those pearly whites! Not only do smiles make faces prettier, they make us look more approachable. Friendly people are more inviting to talk to, and those who don't look lost in thought will more likely prompt an interruption.

The next secret I'm going to share with you is Fail. Proof. I use it most often at the gym, but it works at Wal-Mart, the mall, the park, and pretty much anywhere else you might go where there will be testosterone. Are you ready...???

Wear sports apparel.

Jerseys, t-shirts, hats, I don't care what you wear. But, if you have ANY sort of interest in sports or allegiance to a team, proudly display it. And, even if you don't - wear a shirt of a team whose city you like (Boston Red Sox, New York Giants, Miami Heat are all good options).

Here's the simple reason this works - automatic conversation starter. Whether a guy likes a team, or hates them, he'll have something to say, even if it's just, "Hey, are you from Indiana?" The opening line is pretty irrelevant - the fact that the ice has been broken is key. If your reason for supporting a sports team is that the quarterback is dating a reality TV star, you might have to do some fancy footwork to quickly move the conversation along to a new topic - but my readers are witty. I have full confidence that your sparkling personalities will shine through, once you've begun the initial conversation.

Honestly, those are my only two tricks, and really, I think a smile and some friendliness can go way further than even my sports shirt. But, if a jersey will irreparably cramp your style, substitute it with something else, appropriate for the kind of guy you're looking for. Or, even better, just observe something about a particular guy. There are conversation starters everywhere, but you have to be patient and look for them. Is HE wearing a sports jersey? Does he have an interesting tattoo? Do you need help figuring out a machine? Did he help the lady in front of you pick up her spilled groceries? All of these are great scenarios for speaking up. Don't get caught up in having the perfect line. Once you venture forward, unless he's a monosyllabic meathead (which you wouldn't want, anyway...right?) the guy should take it from there. Except if he's taken. Which is an entirely different post. (Hint: ALWAYS look for the ring FIRST!)

Also, don't be afraid! Really, what is the worst that can happen? He blows you off. Ok. Move on to the next guy. As the authors of He's Just Not That Into You say, "Don't waste the pretty!" It was your first sentence - no love lost, and if he's as big of a jerk as he seems, he won't remember the conversation, anyway. Find a new man to talk to - there are plenty of proverbial fish in the proverbial sea! And keep talking until one talks back!

Any love gurus out there that can think of secrets I'm missing?

Where have all the good guys gone?

2010-07-20T21:12:00.006-04:00

While we're on the subject of dating - which we might be on for a while, because this has opened up a vast mine of posting ideas - let me address one of the questions I get asked most often...

How do you meet so many guys?

I almost want to laugh when people ask me that question, because a lot of good meeting them has done me - I am still single, you may recall. But, I understand the sentiment behind the inquiry, and since it can sometimes be difficult to find men, barring TV reality shows where they send 25 to worship the ground you walk on, I am willing to help a sister out. However, I cannot and will not be held responsible for the outcomes of these meetings. After the introductions, you are entirely on your own.

Tonight, let's start with the "where" of meeting guys. We can get to the "how" tomorrow, since, after all, you can't meet 'em until you find 'em.

1. The gym. The gym is easily my top place to meet guys. Why? Because there are tons of them there - surely a few are bound to be your type. Or you, theirs. Plus, there are lots of easy conversation starters and places to talk at the gym. The water fountain, for example. But, we'll get into all that a little bit more tomorrow.

2. Church. Ok, I'm gonna be honest, my church is incredibly lacking in single guys, so I really don't meet a ton of guys there. But, if you're a guy, church is a FANTASTIC place to find someone. And after you've found Jesus, you can get a girl, too.

3. Work. I happen to work at a graduate school, so we're kinda busting at the seams with single, intelligent men. But, even if you don't work in higher education, your job can still be a great place to meet a man. Just think outside the box. You may not have a lot in terms of co-workers, but maybe there's a client that you can meet for coffee (after your professional relationship is over - I'm not advocating breaches of professional ethics here). Or a delivery guy - I met a great guy once who delivered Jason's Deli for one of our open houses (granted, I really was most interested in the fact that he knew Joe Mauer, but still). Or, if you're a teacher, maybe one of your kid's parents. We've all watched Gilmore Girls, right? Lorelai did it all the time - and if it's good enough for a Gilmore, it's good enough for me.

4. Sporting events. Even if you don't like sports, if you like men who like sports, then get thee to a baseball game! Guys are LITERALLY teeming out of the crevices, and they often go in packs. So, get a few girlfriends together and have a "girl's night" at the ball park!

5. Anywhere else you frequent. Maybe you're not a gym rat, but you live at the local Starbucks. What about the baristas? Or, is there a guy that comes in at the same time every day? Don't stalk him, but if you do happen to see him on numerous occasions, say something to him. Or, maybe you love indie music, skinny jeans, and open mic nights and would never be interested in a meathead (which is fine with me - less competition!). Keep your eyes peeled, then, at the venues you do go to often. I'm sure there are tons of guys just your type - you've just got to look for them!

One common place to look for guys that is noticeably absent from my list is bars and clubs. Although it is incredibly easy to meet men at either of these places, I intentionally left them off the list. The purpose of my list is to find GOOD guys, not just guys, and I have yet to meet a man with class at a bar or club. Not that it CAN'T happen. But, the chances are really not good. As in slim to none. Besides, no one wants to tell their grandkids they met at a bar.

Now that you know where all these Olympic-sized pools of men have been hiding, we can discuss tomorrow how you get from the O-M-G-look-at-all-of-them! stage to the "Hey, how's it going" stage. And then we're getting off this ride, because, as I said, my expertise ends after the first convo.

Did I leave off any other good male breeding grounds? Where have you had good luck finding guys? Or, if you're married, where did you have good luck finding THE guy?

If I had a nickel for every time...

2010-07-19T19:20:00.004-04:00

The other day, one of my friends told me I should write a book about my dating experiences. I think I should have been a little insulted by that, or at least felt sorry for myself because noone wants to read about GOOD dating experiences or happy relationships - it's the train wrecks that sell. Therefore, if my love life is book-worthy, it must be pretty awful.

Yet, as I thought about her off-handed suggestion, I wasn't offended, and I actually began to like the idea. While I'm not in a place to write a whole book - I'm not sure I could fill it - I am in the place to write a blog, seeing as I already have one with a cute design and all. So, with that said, let's add a new element to this here corner of the internet, shall we, in which you really will get a chance to see what it's like "In Her Shoes...", without actually having to walk in them! (Luckies!)

Disclaimer: I really don't want to offend anyone, so names and dates of these stories will be changed, and it's very likely that I will not tell anything in chronological order. But it will all be true. Because my life really is this ridiculous (sometimes).

First order of business in newly-commissioned Operation Find-Me-A-Man: get me some glasses!

I'm convinced that my love life would be drastically improved by a simple pair of contact lenses. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen a guy from afar, thought he was incredibly good looking, mustered up the bravery to talk to him, and then found out that, actually, he wasn't really that attractive. At all. Nor did he have all his teeth. And, he was shorter than me (well, in my heels. But you know I'm not going to give up my heels just for some guy). By the time I've figured these things out, though, I'm in too deep. I've already started talking to the guy, and there's no graceful way to exit.

Which brings me to the second order of business: think of good excuses!

I'm not a liar - I never have been. So, when a guy I'm not interested in asks for my phone number, it just does not come naturally to tell him that I have a boyfriend. But, I don't want to hurt the poor guy's feelings. It takes a lot of courage (liquid or otherwise) to ask a girl for her number. So, I always give it. And then I always have to deal with awkward situations later. If I could just ~~be teleported from the situation~~ think of good excuses, I would spare myself a lot of drama (although, then this part of my blog would get pretty boring, I suppose).

As you can probably already tell, my poor eyesight, plus my unwillingness to either lie or hurt someone's feelings, has led to quite a few misadventures in my young life, all of which will be chronicled throughout the coming ~~months~~ ~~years~~ decad...oh, good grief! I just hope you all enjoy not living vicariously through me!

In the meantime, ladies (or guys), what's your best non-lie excuse to not give out your number?

A lovely way to pass the time

2010-07-18T21:15:00.007-04:00

Today I did something I'm not sure I've ever done in my entire life...I shopped for five hours with little to no thought of the consequences. If I liked something, I bought it, and I can honestly say, I have no idea how much I spent. It was some much needed retail therapy - to the max!

Now, let me qualify the above statements by saying, I still shopped the Sarah Beth way - if it wasn't on sale, I didn't even look at it. And if it wasn't on clearance, I didn't look at it for long. But, I still bought without pausing to consider if I actually "needed" this or not. And it was exhilarating!

Growing up, my parents listened to Oldies, and one line from a certain song always gets stuck in my head when I go shopping. The song is Bus Stop by the Hollies, and the line is "Sometimes she'd shop and she would show me what she'd bought." Well, I shopped, and since I don't have a guy holding an umbrella at a bus stop to show it to, do you mind if I show you? No? Thanks, ya'll - you're the greatest!

Well, first of all, I bought my first ever pair of yoga pants, which I am wearing now, but def. not going to show you a picture of. However, can someone PLEASE tell me why I didn't know about the extreme comfortableness of these pants before today? I think it's a travesty that I have lived 25 years without yoga pants. Seriously, if there was away to dress these up that would meet the approval of my boss, you better believe I wouldn't take them off. Ever.

But, moving on to the cute things that I can show you.

Ahh, Forever 21. Where would my closet be without you? I hate to even consider that possibility. Especially since I am now the proud owner of this cute little navy and copper-sequined dress...that cost me $5.00.

H&M, don't you worry - you are a very close second in my heart, thanks to this top that I bought today:
You can see my big smile. That's because of the price tag I left on there for you guys to see - $7. Here is a close up of the sequined applique.
Sequins seem to be a theme of the day.

I bought these $3 earrings to go with the shirt, as well as a gold braided headband for $4.50.

I don't know if you're keeping track at home, but I don't really care how much I spent today. I just like bragging about my good deals.

I bought another pink shirt with some crocheted white flowers on it. And then the shoes...

These were only $5. Maybe I don't need another pair of flat sandals, but, they were $5!!
Since my phone camera likes to distort colors, these are a rose pink with silver accents. Super cute.

I also bought these gorgeous gold shoes:
but of all my purchases, these are the only ones I feel buyer's remorse about. Not because they were expensive - they were $16. And not because they aren't beautiful - they are. But, I really have NOTHING to go with them. Literally, nothing. And they're so yellow/white gold - not antiqued like I usually wear - I don't think I'll even be able to find things. Plus, they're so fancy, that I won't have much opportunity to wear them. So, I should return them...right??

Fortunately, the pain of having to return my gold shoes will be quickly eased when I look at my final purchase of the day:
These baby blues are so gorgeous, and such an unexpected treat from Mr. Carlos Santana. (Who knew he made shoes?) They were also my most expensive purchase of the day at a whopping $27. But, they look so good on, and although I'm not sure yet what I'll wear with them, have no fear - I will find something for these lovelies.

Ok, that's all for today's 5-hour shopping marathon. Thank you for participating in my therapy. I really did feel better at the end of the day, although the shopping high is a very dangerous one. Good thing I know where to find a sale!

Clothed in rainbows of living color

2010-07-17T21:25:00.003-04:00

Right now, I'm on my third re-write of this post. I'm having trouble figuring out exactly what I want to say tonight, so I think I'm going to say nothing, except that when I'm at my most maxed-out point, the one sure thing to bring me peace and comfort is to listen to music about the Lord. Maybe it's because this music puts everything into perspective. Maybe it just reminds me that He cares. Maybe it's just because God's presence flows out through the music, and He is the Comforter and the Prince of Peace. Whatever the reason, I began listening to music about 5 minutes ago, and already I feel better. So, since I have nothing else to say, would you like to peek in a little on my playlist? I hope that if you're also not at peace - for whatever reason - that this music will minister to you, too.

He is here for the broken and life to the one who is undone
He is peace to the wounded and hope for the helpless one
He is here, He is here
Kari Jobe - Be Still

I am nothing without your love
I’m unworthy but your death has been enough
I’m completed by your touch,
But I feel like I’ve been given so much
so I thank you, I thank you
Jeremy Camp - I Am Nothing

I need You, Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go?
There's no other name by which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You
Newsong - Rescue

What a wonderful Maker
What a wonderful Savior
How majestic Your whispers
And how humble Your love
With a strength like no other
And the heart of a Father
How majestic Your whispers
What a wonderful God
Chris Tomlin - Wonderful Maker

Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come
With all creation I sing
Praise to the King of Kings
You are my everything
And I will adore You

Clothed in rainbows, of living color
Flashes of lightning, rolls of thunder
Blessing and honor, strength and glory and power be
to You the only wise King
Kari Jobe - Revelation Song

I did chop down that cherry tree

2010-07-15T22:08:00.009-04:00

On Sunday after church, my mom and I loaded up my very small, yet extremely cute little car and headed on up to Mt. Vernon. Only, traffic was terrible, so we didn't actually get there until 4:00. Which would have been fine, if the place didn't close at 5:00. Fortunately, though, we were in time for one of the last tours of the house, and the museum remained open until 6, so we still had a fairly thorough visit.

George Washington's home is magnificent. As you can see from this picture,
it's quite large (although not nearly as large as the model version they had on display would have led you to believe. That thing was not at all to scale). Here is a closer picture of the house:
I do love a good breezeway. (BTW, I discovered why they're called that - they really create a nice wind tunnel!)

From the backyard, Washington had this beautiful view of the Potomac - Oh, to live on the water! And he used the river to his benefit, fishing, curing, and selling his own catches.

Even Washington's servants quarters were nice, and his bookkeeper got to stay in this adorable cottage.
I kinda wanted to ask if they would rent it out to me, seeing as I'm soon to be homeless again and all. But, I figured it would be a little too far to commute. (I've always wanted a bed with curtains.)

Off to the side, Washington had his gardens, complete with a greenhouse. I loved that some of the flowers were in bloom - and that they looked a little untamed.
After touring the house, my mom and I headed to the museum where I was FASCINATED by the George Washington hologram that greeted us. Watch this:

Here is Washington's face when I'm to the right of him:
And here it is when I'm to the left:

His eyes LITERALLY follow you around. I could have played in front of that thing all day, but alas, the rest of the museum called, so I dragged my mom away from dancing in front of his face to make his nose wiggle, and we moved on.

So this is a picture of a picture, but I love this painting of our first President praying in the snow. I think he really set the tone for the entire country, in more ways than one.
And, of course, when I saw the shoes that I had once blogged about (one of my very first posts!), I had to take my own picture. They are prettier in real life than the magazine article had led me to believe.
But perhaps the prettiest sight of all was waiting for us right outside the bookstore, where we found this tree:
Oh, Mr. Washington. Count yourself a blessed man.

The best of both worlds

2010-07-14T13:00:00.009-04:00

I'm typing this as I watch the Bachelorette. So, you are going to get a mixture of DC and OMG. I hope you can keep up!

Day 1 in DC was actually in Mt. Vernon. But we'll get to that tomorrow. Let's start with Day 2, which was museums, museums, and more museums! First stop for me was Ford's Theater, site of Lincoln's assassination.

You can go into the theater and see the actual box where Lincoln and his party were sitting, complete with draped flags as it was that night. It's a little heavy.

Then, the theater has a great Lincoln museum that talks all about his life, administration, the war, and his assassination. I took a picture of this sign for my dad, because he's convinced that Kentucky was a Confederate state.

It was not.

Bachelorette interruption: Hey, I've been to the University of Tampa! It really is pretty, but I think it's fun that I've been in the buildings they're showing! Unfortunately, I did not see Roberto.

Next, we went to the Smithsonian Institute of American History. Loved. It. One of my favorite exhibits was the gowns of the First Ladies, but for some reason, I took no pictures of that. However, I remember quite vividly that Michelle Obama's inauguration gown was even uglier in person than on the night she wore it. Fashion icon my foot.

If she doesn't pick Chris, I will. Cute guy AND we get to live down the Cape? Sign me up! But why did he say her meeting his family was like a perfect storm? Is that a foreshadowing?

Second favorite part of the Smithsonian was the giant doll house. If you remember, I have a really special connection with doll houses, and I absolutely love them. But this one takes the cake, beating out even my childhood memory for the best doll house ever! My picture didn't turn out very well, but here is a much better one:
To give you an idea of the detail, look at the attic. Who would even think to furnish the attic? But check out this detail - amazing!
(For more room views and to read about the doll house, you can visit here.)

I love Chris's family. So adorably sweet. I really can't understand why people think New Englanders are rude! Best people in America.

Next was the obvious picture - I couldn't go into a museum, see a pair of red shoes and not take a picture. Especially of these red shoes:
Oh, to be Dorothy.

Aww, Chris's dad is crying! I'm getting all choked up now. Can I move back to New England...please???
Speaking of dads, I feel bad for Kirk. He doesn't stand a chance with a taxidermist for a father. A freezer full of animal guts would creep me out, too, and I don't even like animals.

We concluded the American History museum with an exhibit on Americans at war that ended with a video about Medal of Honor recipients. I cried. Of course.

Ali, what are those MC Hammer pants you're wearing in Chicago? On the other hand, I love Frank's neuroticism for Ali. I hate that he's leaving - thank you, ABC, for ruining that surprise for me in the teasers.

Our last museum of the day was the Smithsonian American Art Museum and National Portrait Gallery. I didn't actually want to go to this one because I don't really care that much about art. But, I'm so glad we did. It actually was my favorite stop of the day. The first piece I really saw took my breath away. It's called the The Throne of the Third Heaven of the Nations' Millennium General Assembly by James Hampton, and it's beautiful.

(Source)

Hampton was a janitor who worked on his labor of love for years in a rented garage. It wasn't discovered until after his death, but the piece represents Hampton's vision of heaven (literally, he saw visions and combined that with what he knew of heaven from the Bible), and it is constructed from spare cardboard, jars, old furniture, and other scraps that are covered with foil. Hampton was inspired by the verse in Proverbs 29:18, "Where there is no vision, the people perish", which was found written on the inside of the garage, and he also inscribed at the top of the throne the words, "Fear Not", one of the most often repeated phrases in the Bible. What I love about this piece, among other things, is that Hampton's gift to God is now a gift to thousands of people every day that view it in the art museum. What a way to use your gift, unusual though it may be, to bring glory to God.

Aww, Frank's fam is funny! I'm sad he's not going to work out.

"They're amazing." "You're amazing." Gag me, Frank.

And then we went to the Norman Rockwell exhibit. I love Norman Rockwell. I didn't realize how much until this weekend. But, I want to be rich and collect his paintings, just like George Lucas and Steven Spielberg, whose private collections comprised the entire exhibit. Here are a few of my faves that I could find online, although these pictures in no way do them justice.

Pardon Me
The Stuff of Which Memories are Made
The Flirts
Happy birthday, Miss Jones

Aww, poor Kirk. :( It's ok, buddy - you'll find someone less annoying, I'm sure!

And last but not least, was this awesome piece of license plates from each of the 50 states that spelled out the Preamble to the Constitution - in license plate speak, of course.

That's it for today. More of DC tomorrow!

Just saying hi...

2010-07-13T21:56:00.003-04:00

I know, I know. You forgot that I was even alive because I've been away so long! But, I am alive. And I do still blog on occasion. I just happened to have my mom here this weekend, and we've been off gallivanting and painting red the city of Washington. So, I promise I will be back tomorrow with a real post, some pictures, and possibly even a few comments on Monday's episode of the Bachelorette, which I have yet to watch. (See, doesn't that make you feel better? I haven't only neglected you, but Chris Harrison and Ali Whats-Her-Name, too!)

Until then my friends, goodnight and have a great day!

Sometimes, I get all nostalgic

2010-07-08T22:51:00.003-04:00

One of my favorite things to do with friends is take a walk down memory lane. I realize this might make me your grandmother who sits on her front porch and gossips about the neighbors. But, seriously, I really like reminiscing about "the way things were." Especially when it comes to toys and TV shows. I dare you to try it - bring up any popular toy or show from when you were kid, and just watch how excited your peers get to talk about it!

Here, I'll demonstrate.

While we were in Colombia, each member of our team had an assigned "buddy" so that we would not lose anyone. This prompted everyone under the age of 30 in our group to start singing the theme song for this popular toy...

My Buddy! Who had one of these? Or a Kid Sister? I didn't, because my family was not trendy like that. But I will forever remember that tune! (P.S. Fave part of this Youtube commercial - the ABC "after these messages, we'll be right back" jingle. Ahh, the sounds of childhood.)

I did, however, have one of these. And it creeped me out.

Cherry Merry Muffin - a doll that smells like baked goods. Who comes up with these ingenious ideas?

Easily my favorite toy. In fact, it was so much my favorite that I didn't ever want to use the actual patterns because I didn't want to run out.

Ok, so this one isn't actually a toy. But I definitely remember this commercial.

Oh, to be a child again. We'll review TV shows next time, and I'm pretty excited about that post, not gonna lie. But, until then, which can't-live-without 80s toys did I forget?

(Editors note: I didn't really play with My Little Pony or Cabbage Patch dolls, so that's why they're missing.)

We've grown so distant

2010-07-07T21:23:00.002-04:00

Since I haven't been the best of bloggers lately/I was a little consumed with patriotism last week, I thought I would take this opportunity to catch you up on my life. I hope you don't mind.

* I have not bought shoes in a while. This makes me sad. And will likely be remedied this weekend. If I have anything to say about it, that is.

* My momma's coming to visit me this weekend! I think we'll have fun. I also think we'll lose five pounds just by sweating since we'll be walking around DC all day Monday and it's supposed to be close to 100 for the next week.

* I'm about to be homeless. Again. No, for real - if you ever pray about anything for me, PLEASE pray that I find a nice place that I can stay in for a good, long time. And that I find it within the next two weeks. Thank you.

* Non-football season is a really boring time of year for me. I try to get into baseball, but I just can't stay up on it. I don't understand tennis. Golf is slow. The NBA is pompous. And soccer is un-American - especially once we get eliminated from the World Cup. So, I really need August to come quickly!

* In 2011, Norfolk is getting a UFL team - that's like the minor leagues of football. And I'm SO excited! I'm thinking about getting season tickets -since they cost all of $40.

* Speaking of cheap tickets, the other day, I bought Rascal Flatts tickets for $10. Yes, you read that right. I've got an extra if anyone wants to come visit me....

* Also speaking of tickets, I got one on Friday. :( Apparently, you actually have to renew your registration - the stickers don't come to you automatically. I did not know this.

* I'm swearing off eHarmony. Seriously, I don't know why I even entertain the thought of meeting guys that way. They are very odd every. single. time. And then I feel like a jerk for "breaking up" with them.

* You guys know I love my Mt. Trashmore. But seriously - their fireworks show was terrible. Good thing I saw a real show at a baseball game the night before, or I would have been quite upset.

* Ed and Jillian broke up. Just in case you hadn't yet heard. I feel bad for Jillian - I really liked her, even though she was a terrible judge of character.

That's about it from the home-front. As Ellie May says (b/c I watched the Beverly Hillbillies when I was home sick from work today - quality entertainment) - y'all come back now, ya hear?

What it takes to protect what we have

2010-07-05T10:29:00.004-04:00

In case you haven't had enough patriotism yet, here's one more little tidbit.

Yesterday at church, a former Marine gave a presentation in honor of the men he's known who gave their lives for freedom. He mentioned about 10 different guys, each with heartbreaking stories of their own. (Seriously, you should have seen me in church. Good thing I have those shoe tissues!)

But the story that struck me the most was about Daniel Clay, another Marine and a Christian. Shortly before he died, Clay wrote the a letter to his family, and our Marine read us an excerpt. In it, you will see why I love the military so much.

What we have done in Iraq is worth any sacrifice. Why? Because it was our duty. That sounds simple, but all of us have a duty. Duty is defined as a God-given task. Without duty, life is worthless. It holds no type of fulfillment. The simple fact that our bodies are built for work has to lead us to the conclusion that God, who has made us, put us together to do His work. His work is different for each of us. Mom,...Dad,...Christie, Kim, Katie,...Jody, Robert, and Richard. Lisa, you too - you're my executive officer, and you did a hell of a job. You all have your duties. Be thankful that God in His wisdom, gives us work. Mine was to ensure that you did not have to experience what it takes to protect what we have as a family. This I am so thankful for.

I know what honor is. It is not a word to be thrown around. It has been an honor to protect and serve all of you. I face death with the secure knowledge that you would not have to. This is as close to Christ-like as I can be. That emulation is where all honor lies. I thank you for making it worthwhile.

In case I haven't said it in the past 5 minutes - God bless America!

Free as we'll ever be

2010-07-03T14:26:00.004-04:00

If this video, from our favorite fried-chicken eaters, the Zac Brown Band, doesn't make you feel all warm and fuzzy and patriotic, you might not be American.

Happy (early) Independence Day!

Well she lit up the sky that Fourth of July

2010-07-01T22:14:00.006-04:00

Oh, there are SO many things I want to complain to you about right now. In one specific area of my life, I have had an incredibly frustrating three weeks and there are at least 5 more to come. And I want you to feel my pain.

But, I've read enough stories about the personal, written word getting people in trouble, that I will refrain from voicing my extremely strong opinions on this particular subject. But, suffice it to say - if you ever have an opportunity to teach a class online, DO NOT DO IT!

Moving on.

This weekend is the 4th of July. If you remember from the Patriotic Music Extravaganza last year (um, ok, maybe extravaganza is a little too extreme a word. I just posted a different patriotic song every day), I LOVE the 4th of July! And I'm going to especially love it this weekend, because I pretty much have something fun planned for every spare moment. (But don't you worry - those papers will get graded!)

This is the agenda:

Friday: My friend and former American Idol Top 36 Contestant Felicia Barton will be singing down at the beach. Why this is great: a) she's super good. b) tomorrow night will be about 65 degrees - a perfect night for a concert. c) This really hot cop I met the other night is a bike cop down by the Oceanfront. I could conceivably see him again. I will dress accordingly.

Saturday: Brunch at 11:00 with one girlfriend, Dinner at 6:00 with another one. Possibly the beach and a cookout in between. Possibly a cage fight afterward. Or, possibly some grading papers. We'll see.

Sunday: Church. You know my pastor will have a good "freedom" sermon, dedicated to the military since we live in a military town, and that's how we roll. And, I'm sure I will cry. Because that's how I roll. Then, I'm not sure what happens - I might go to the church picnic, might go to the beach, definitely will watch fireworks. And eat ice cream - I can be Type A for the holiday.

Monday: the mall. Listen, don't judge. I really do need some new shoes. One of my best friends is getting married, and I don't have my bridesmaid dress yet! And, I need a new wallet, because I clean mine out so infrequently, that's it's been stretched out to far to stay closed, thus defeating the purpose of even having a wallet. Then after the mall, back to the beach! Oh, and THEN, the Bachelorette with the special Jake and Vienna interview!

It really is going to be a fabulous weekend, but I love the 4th of July not only for the fun, but because of what it stands for. I really, REALLY love the US, and I'm so glad our Founding Father's declared our independence on this day (well, Sunday's day) in 1776.

But enough about me - what are your plans for the 4th?

Some people have experienced side effects such as...

2010-06-30T21:52:00.005-04:00

Today on the radio, one of the DJs was asking about the moment when you realized you were not getting any younger. I thought about it, and my first thought was the time I walked in to my office to find my glasses perched on a huge stack of important looking papers. Since when do I have an office? Since when are my papers important? Since when do I wear glasses?

But as I thought about it more, and as my esophagus felt like it was going up in flames, I realized that no - the glasses were not when I felt old. I really began to feel old on the day a couple months ago when I went to the doctor and came home with Nexium - the pretty purple pill for heartburn.

Heartburn. Since when do I get heartburn? Shouldn't I still be eating whatever I want (except the chocolate milk diet, because that obviously was a huge fail)? Apparently not.

Since I am apparently getting old and heartburn has now entered my life, I asked the mom of one of my friends who is a certified herbalist and has a natural prescription for everything, what I should take for heartburn. She said what I really didn't want her, too - change your diet.

We now pause for a brief interlude of pouting.

Oh, alright, fine. But change my diet how? I was having heartburn after weird things - like Cheerios. Give me some Mexican and I'm good to go. But those Cheerios? Gets me every. single. time.

My friend's mom said I needed to eat according to my blood type. I had heard of this before and even tried it temporarily, but back then, it was just a diet. Now, I am COMPLETELY motivated to do it because I really don't love having pain searing through my chest.

Normally, I would be a little skeptical of this kind of thing, but I believe my friend's mom. And, once I did a little research, I was convinced. I have Type O blood, which, according to Dr. D'Adamo, the guy who came up with the Eat Right 4 Your Type diet, Os are very acidic, anyway, so they are the most prone to get ulcers - and, in my interpretation - heartburn. But, because they have so much acid in their systems, Os can easily digest all kinds of meat. Os also tend to have slower metabolisms - and I've been saying that for years! (It's a much better reason for a few extra pounds than lack of exercise or too much chocolate.) And once I read what O's should and should not eat, knowing what I know about how I gain weight, I was sold. (Carbs are not my friend.)

Ok. So here are a couple of changes I will be making that I'm excited about:
- Red meat! According to the O diet plan, I can eat lots of meat. Like all the time. And I don't just have to eat plain old baked chicken! I could def. get used to this.

- Butter. Well, it's not in the "beneficial" column, but it's not in the bad column. So you better believe I'm going to take full advantage of that creamy goodness.

And, a couple I'm not so excited about:
- Cheese. I'm only supposed to eat mozzarella, feta, and goat cheese. Which is all well and good, but I really love me some hard cheeses. I will miss them. And probably cheat often.

- Wheat. Yeah, of any kind. Or oats (which would explain the Cheerios sitch). Or most grains that actually taste good. But don't you worry - I can eat rice to my little heart's content. Whoop. Dee. Doo.

- Peanuts. I essentially exist off of peanut butter. I even wrote an ode to it. This cannot end well.

And finally, ones I have zero intention of giving up.
- Ketchup. My ~~beverage~~ condiment of choice. Heartburn or no heartburn, I will eat my ketchup! (And it will probably be on my french fries, which are also not allowed.)

- Ice cream. Duh.

Really, there is a lot of flexibility in this plan, so I'm completely game to give it a shot. Worst case scenario, I lose a couple pounds by cutting out carbs for a week or two, and I have to go on the medicine, anyway. But, I'd really love not to go on the medicine, so we'll see how this goes.

I'm already mourning the loss of my peanut butter.

Man, I love college

2010-06-29T11:54:00.002-04:00

I just spent forever and a day typing a post about this fabulous article I read today. And blogger did not save it. That's the first time that has happened to me, and I am quite irritated.

But, I really couldn't tell the story any better than the article did itself, so please just go read it. It is a little long, but well worth your time (Ok, I'll give you a hint - it's about a new school in Chicago that's giving hope to inner-city boys - and sending 100% of its first graduating class to college!)

And, as you're reading this article that I've now linked to three times, be thinking to yourself, what's my Urban Prep? Because that's what I thought when I read it. No, I'm probably not called to start an inner-city school for boys in Chicago, but I am called to do something that will impact those who it serves. What is that for me? What is it for you?

Finally, some more SHOES!

2010-06-28T21:17:00.006-04:00

Ok, so I know I said I was done talking about Colombia, and I was, BUT...

I realized I hadn't talked about the best part - my purchases!

I really didn't buy all that much. I guess when you're on a mission trip, they don't give you a whole lot of time for shopping. I don't know why.

But we did have one shopping day, and I got all I needed - earrings, shoes, and a fabulous hair cut.

We went to this great outdoor market on our last day in Bogota, and it was the kind of place where you barter. Except, apparently, I'm a terrible barterer, because with only one exception, every vendor excepted the first price I offered. Clearly, I didn't go low enough. But when stuff is so cheap to begin with, there's not a lot of motivation to argue.

For example, I got these great wooden earrings - I'm calling them hand-crafted - 3 for $10. I'm only showing you two pairs on the off chance that my sister reads my blog and sees the pair I bought for her.
(Yes, that picture is taken on my bed that is currently sheetless. Last night, in my 1:30 am sleepy stupor, I was convinced I had bedbugs and so I took all my sheets off and washed them. Turns out, I had simply been attacked by mosquitos on Saturday. Attacked 24 times, to be exact.)

(Also, apparently my fancy camera on my fancy phone has a hyperactive flash that distorts colors. Because obviously it can't be user error with my photography skills. The hearts are black and tan, the round ones green faded into purple.)

After the market, we went to the mall where I bought some Forever 21 type earrings, for LESS than Forever 21 prices - I didn't think that was possible. But it was, and they're really cute.

Next, was shoes. I almost didn't get these, because we were running late and our former-Marine-turned-mission-trip-security had already yelled at me once that day. But I would have REALLY regretted going to a foreign country and not buying any shoes. So, I bought these.
And I love them. Even with the exchange rate, I paid a little bit more for these shoes than I would have in America. But they're from Colombia. That's worth the extra $13.

And finally, the haircut. After seeing the MILLIONS of Colombian school girls with this haircut,
I was so determined to get it. But, I had planned to get it cut when I got back to the states. I'm so glad I didn't. As one of friends convincingly argued, "It's the ultimate souvenir!" And she was right! Everyone's talked about it since I got back, and I absolutely love it and plan to keep it. So, it'll last a lot longer than the chocolate I bought.

I've had mostly rave reviews, except from my parents and brother who didn't recognize me. (Seriously, guys - it's not THAT different!) Since most of you don't really know me in person, you can't say for sure if it looks better or not. But, you can appreciate what a good hair cut it was, for my $8.50 American dollars. I went to the mall to get it cut, which I would NEVER do in America, but being in another country makes you do crazy things, and fortunately, this one panned out.

It is for Freedom

2010-06-27T23:00:00.004-04:00

I almost didn't write a new post tonight because I'm not sure everyone who regularly reads my blog has looked at Friday night's post with additional pictures of Colombia. But, I have something I'd like to say, so I'll just reference Friday night's post with additional pictures of Colombia. Please do go look at it - you will love those pictures. I guarantee it.

Ok, I think I'm going to change the title of Sermon Sundays, because I feel like that scares people off. But, the theme will remain the same. And, the subjects will continue to be largely drawn from sermons my pastor preaches that morning. I don't have a catchy new title - if you have suggestions, I'm open to them - but, I think the change will be good.

So, this morning, my pastor gave part 2 of a sermon series on freedom - probably leading up to the 4th of July. He likes doing stuff like that. This series is also appropriate because the church has "freedom" in its name.

The message today was centered on Galatians 4:24, which says, "These things may be taken figuratively, for the women represent two covenants." The "things" and "women" in reference here are Hagar and Sarah, and the events surrounding the birth of Abraham's sons. To make a really long story short, God had promised Abraham and Sarah a son. But after Sarah was beyond child-bearing years and still had not had one, she decided she was going to give her servant, Hagar, to Abraham to conceive for him. Hagar did, and Ishmael was born (incidentally, Ishmael is the line from which the Arabic peoples descend).

While in the culture of the time, Sarah was technically allowed to do what she did, it wasn't what God had promised, and He didn't need her manipulating circumstances to fulfill His word. Sure enough, when Sarah was 90 and Abraham 100, Isaac was born.

If, as Paul suggests in Galatians, we are to take these events figuratively, then Hagar represents the Old Covenant, or living by the law. If you've ever ventured into Exodus or Leviticus, you know the extent of the Mosaic law, and the harsh penalties for those who broke it.

Sarah, though, represents the New Covenant, God's promise - or living by the Spirit. When we enter into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, we are not bound by all the rules. We are able to live in freedom, as Paul mentions a little later in Galatians 5:1, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

The danger in a sermon of this type is that people will think they can use their freedom as a license for living however they please. It's certainly the first thought that came to my mind when Pastor started preaching, and one that he quickly addressed with a great illustration.

Imagine your freedom as a helium balloon. You receive it, and you really appreciate it. So much so, that you begin to show it off. And you begin to play with it, bouncing it around, and becoming increasingly more careless, until finally, you lose control of the freedom balloon, and it drifts off into the sky, leaving you, once more, enslaved to sin.

See, there are two ways to be enslaved. One is to legalism, from which Christ has set us free; the other is to sin, from which Christ has also set us free. So, how do you walk that fine line, erring not on the legalistic/dry/dead religion side, nor on the sin side? The answer is to live by the Spirit.

Only through a close relationship with God will we be able to balance the dueling entrapments. The Holy Spirit will encourage us in the things that we should do, and discourage us from the things we shouldn't, but we will not be bogged down by a running tally of all the things we really have to work on. Because we know God, we will know better what pleases Him and how to live that out. And, we will want to do those things that please Him - it won't be a legalistic, "how-do-I-measure-up-today" chore. Then, when we do mess up - which, of course, we will - God is there to extend His grace once more and restore us back to a right relationship with Him. When we're not enslaved to legalism, there is no condemnation - only conviction and forgiveness. And when there is no condemnation, we are unlikely to be stuck in shame and a helpless cycle of sin.

Christianity is not about do's and don't's. It's not about measuring up to some invisible standard we've imagined for ourselves. And it's definitely not about being perfect. It's about being becoming more like Jesus as we invest more time into our relationship with Him, learning His heart and His character. And when we are finally able to grasp those things, we will be TRULY free.

My buddy and me

2010-06-25T20:48:00.009-04:00

I am now officially a paid blogger! Well, paid if you click on the BlogHer ads. So, really, you control my cash flow. No pressure. But, I've also found some really great blogs on that site, so even if you don't want Crystal Light or Jenny Craig, or whatever they are advertising on my blog, you can still go blog digging. (I guess this means I really have to be interesting when I blog now. Who's feeling the pressure this time?)

I think I'm about done talking about Colombia - I hope I haven't beaten a dead horse. But, I do have one more left, if you will indulge me, and it's based on the pictures that our designated photographer, Andi Grant, (who happens to be a REALLY FANTASTIC professional photographer, anyway) uploaded today. Check out her blog at Andi Grant Photography - and then find me a man so that she can take my engagement photos!

As I was looking through the 1172 photos that Andi uploaded (no, seriously), I was so struck by the faces of all the people. We went into so many wildly different schools, but there were certain similarities that stuck out at all of them: the people were kind, generous, and really beautiful; and the kids were glued to our every word. If you either didn't watch or didn't notice in the video the other day, we had the attention of most every child within ear shot of us, which over the course of the five days we visited schools, amounted to four or five thousand children. And after our presentation, we got to interact with them. Take a look:

Look at their faces!

The girls were so cute. Since they all had to wear uniforms (every school we visited - Christian, Catholic, public - had uniforms), they made individual statements with earrings.

Even the cool kids in the balcony were listening.

So cute.
And gorgeous.
One of the guys on our team totally bought a scarf like this.
My friend Naomi was so good with the kids - I think they all thought she was a real live Disney princess!
And then there's me. I like this picture, because I'm pretty sure I was saying, "Slow down a second!"
At one school, the English teacher/soccer coach thanked us - it was really sweet. Also, he's 23 and single, if anyone is interested.

Love this guy - best hair of the trip.

Such a great shot. And that's how SO many girls wore their hair - and what I tried to copy.
I have absolutely no idea who these little boys are, but aren't they the most adorable things ever?

Bef0re I show you the last two pictures, I want to tell you a story. On our last day in the schools in Bogota, we stopped at a school in a really, really rough part of town - hereafter referred to as the "Ghetto School." All of the schools in Bogota have gates and bars, and many have armed guards. But this one was really on lock-down. We could not get in or out without an escort, and they took inventory of all of our electronics upon entry - so that they could be sure we left with everything we had coming in. This was also the only school where the teachers had said, "It's up to you to run this thing" - including corralling the children. Our whole team was on high-alert, and, I would venture to say, a little fearful. We left immediately after our presentation was over, the only school we didn't really have a chance to interact with the kids afterward.

And yet, it was my favorite school.

For the first, and possibly only time on this trip, I felt like we were REALLY needed at that school. Yes, I know our message was relevant to every child that heard it. But, it was so much more relevant at a school where in the 30 minutes we were there, a boy had his face punched in, and theft was such a problem that we didn't set down our bags anywhere. The kids there really had nothing, and yet, they listened to us - paying better attention than at any other school we had visited.

And then there was Camilo. He's my favorite of all.

We had a few minutes before the presentation started to talk to some of the kids, and Camilo and I found each other right away. He was about 10 or 12, and clearly the runt of the class. But he was spunky, and he put up with my Spanish, so we got along. And once our dramas began, he sat on the front row to listen.

When we had finished our spiel, we all were herded toward the exit, with strict orders to leave as quickly as possible. But, Camilo found me again and talked to me for another minute or two. And then, as I was about to walk out the door, he came up again, giving me a beaded necklace. I kissed him on the cheek and he was gone.

I really love that kid. Here we were in this ghetto school where the kids had absolutely nothing, and this little boy, whom I had talked to for 5 minutes, showed me such generosity and kindness. The necklace wouldn't mean much to an American, but to him, it probably was of value, and it's most certainly of precious value to me.

I didn't have my camera, so I was afraid I wouldn't have a picture of Camilo, although his face was literally burned into my memory. But fortunately, Andi came to the rescue and took two really clear pictures of him.

This first picture I don't like, and after you see it, I'll tell you why. Camilo is the short boy with the satchel in the center of the picture.

I don't like this picture because you can see Colombia in his eyes. He's only 10 years old, but his eyes look so much older than that, and you can almost see in his features the life that's ahead of him, should he follow the normal path of his neighborhood and of many of his countrymen.

But this picture, I love:

In this picture, Camilo is a boy again. He's super cute, smiling, and doesn't look like he has a care in the world. That's the Camilo I want him to remain. That's the look of innocence that I don't want to fade as he gets older and his world throws some pretty tough stuff at him. And that's the Camilo I'll be thinking about when I pray for him. Because if God's involved, Camilo may never have to look in the mirror and see those hardened adult eyes again.

Oh, yeah? Well my phone's cooler than yours!

2010-06-23T22:27:00.003-04:00

I got my new phone today, and it is awesome.

I have been useless to the world since about 11:00 this morning, when that blessed Verizon box arrived. Never in my life have I been on the cutting edge of technology. And while, arguably, the enV Touch is not cutting edge, it's pretty darn close to falling off the cliff. So, that's good enough for me.

These are my favorite things that my phone can do (that I have thus far discovered):

* Take panorama pictures. In Colombia, I learned the mystery and wonder that is a panoramic shot. If only I ever took pictures of anything, I would totally use that.

* Take video. I might actually use that one, on say, karaoke night.

* Take business card photos. That's really what it says. I feel like this is a spy tool. I can surreptitiously take photos of people's IDs, and they will never be the wiser.

* Smile technology. You know, that feature on cameras that it automatically takes a picture whenever someone smiles? Hours of entertainment!

* IM. I guess alot of phones can do this, but the one I dropped in the pool couldn't. So, I'm happy for the feature.

* Get me around town. Yeah, there's a GPS.

* Save my 10 favorites. This is different from speed dial. I can save up to 10 people in my "favorites" folder on the main screen, and then with a push of a button, I can text, call, read our convos, or see their contact info, without having to scroll through the however many hundreds are in my contact list (which was THANKFULLY retrieved from my old dead phone!)

* Be cool because it's a touch screen, and practical because it has real buttons for texting. Because you know my fingers are too fat for those touch screen letters.

* Hold my music. Except they make me buy a memory card, too. Boo, Verizon!

* Let me change the font. I have this super cute font called "Joy" now.

Also, one of the ring tones is called "Good Morning", and it has this 50s music playing, and then a woman singing, well, good morning before she breaks into a quite perky song. I will not be using that as an alarm, because I think it's a little creepy, but I just might make anyone who ever stays with me use it. Because I think that'd be really funny.

My phone's pretty much the best. What can your phone do?

9 days in 7.5 minutes

2010-06-22T21:22:00.004-04:00

I've decided I'm done complaining about my trip. Still no answers as to why I went, but our team as a whole really did some good work. We loved on children, spent time with kids who don't get a lot of positive attention, and we planted some seeds, that hopefully, will have long-lasting fruit.

Below is a video my pastor showed at church. It's kinda long - 7 1/2 minutes, but if you really want to know what we did, this is a great way to see it.

A few things I do want to point out in the video:

Watch how the kids look at us. When we're giving our presentation, they are in rapt attention. When we're hanging out with them, they're mobbing us. Yes, it was nice to be superstars for a while, but I like to think that because we are Americans, they listened to us a little more, and God can really use our message to go further.

The song is "Jesus, Be the Center" (Cristo, Eres el Centro). We learned it in Spanish, but I kinda knew it in English, too. Look it up - it's a great worship song.

Look how sweet the girls are at the orphanage. The little one at the beginning looking out the window was the cutest, happiest little thing, even though she's crying when Pastor prays for her later.

At the end, when Preston, our youth pastor, is preaching on the street, and we're standing behind him, the back story was really amazing. The whole time we had been singing/doing our dramas, etc, there had been traffic on the road in front of us. But, as soon as Preston began preaching and until he ended, it was as if God held back the traffic - not a single car passed by. The crowd that had gathered to watch - which was pretty sizable - had nothing to distract them from the gospel.

Unfortunately, this version is not super high quality. But, you'll know me by the green Soy Sabio shirt, or the blond hair. There's only one blonde, and I'm the only girl in green.

And one final note of vanity before you watch - in the last scene, on the street, I am a) wearing pants, and b) not pregnant.

Sermon Sundays

2010-06-20T21:03:00.002-04:00

First of all, if anyone ever wants to buy me some over priced handbags, wallets, or other accessories, you may buy me Baekgaard. It's in the Vera Bradley family, and I love it. Today, I bought a $42 clutch...and paid $10 for it. But you may buy it for me at full price, if you'd like. I especially like this one. In navy, please.

Let's talk about expectations tonight. And what to do when they're not fulfilled.

I had an awful lot of expectations going into my trip to Colombia. I don't think I recognized my feelings as expectations, but looking back, they were. I had heard so much about mission trips being life changing events that I expected to come back a new person, somehow. I anticipated being an emotional wreck over the course of 9 days, and leaving my heart in Colombia. I was SO excited about spending time with my pastor and him really getting to know me.

And none of those things happened. I don't feel any different now that I'm back - except maybe a little more grateful to be in America. I hardly cried at all while I was gone, except for the one night where I wanted so badly just to come home. And the only thing my pastor knows now about me that he didn't before is that I love shoes and military men. (Since I generally share those facts with someone in our first conversation, you can see that we didn't get all that deep.)

So, what do you do with that? Change the specifics, and I'm sure we can all relate. You are excited to renew an acquaintance with an old friend, and the conversation is stilted. A date goes bad. A relationship disappoints - maybe consistently. A job proves unfulfilling. Or a decision just doesn't pan out the way you thought. And you're left wondering why. What was the point of all this? Were my expectations wrong in the first place? Did I do something wrong and that's why Situation X didn't meet those expectations?

I don't really have answers for those questions. Maybe you do, and if so, please leave them in the comments.

But one thing I do know, God is bigger than my expectations.

I started to write God will always fulfill my expectations, but then I realized that wasn't necessarily true. Sometimes my expectations don't match up with His plans. I don't see the whole picture, so I want things to go one way, when really, they need to go completely opposite.

The frustrating thing about living for God, even when what He's doing doesn't match my expectations, is that I may never know why. I may never know why I was supposed to go on this mission trip, although I don't doubt for a second that I was. You may never know why that relationship didn't work out, or why you had to go through that hard time, or why you have a sickness. LIFE may not meet our expectations at all, and we may not ever know why - although, I really hope sometimes to at least get an inkling.

I like to think that in heaven there is a huge movie screen and we'll get to watch our lives and see what could have been. Like a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book, or if George Bailey had never been born. I hope that I can see all the failed expectations that were really the best possible circumstances in God's omniscient plan. Regardless of whether or not that happens, though, and regardless of whether or not I get any answers now, or in the near or distant future, I know that God is faithful. I know that He has plans for me that are for good and not evil, to prosper me and not to harm me, and to give me a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). And, I know that He is love (1 John 4:8), so whatever happens is for my benefit. Even if it's not necessarily to my taste.

Because I really like these short things

2010-06-19T18:43:00.004-04:00

I haven't had a chance to do a Friday Fragments in a while, and I feel like today's a good opportunity. The fact that it's not actually Friday is unimportant.

* I like my recruiting events because I make new friends. Today, I was invited to be in a fantasy football league of law school recruiters. I'm so going to dominate.

* There is an awful lot of ego in one room at these law school forums. If you don't believe me, go to one and step inside the room. It's palpable.

* I got so many compliments today on my shoes. Several of them were from gay guys - I consider that a particular honor.

* Ali from the Bachelorette really irritates me. However, this season is SUPER entertaining! How about Crazy Kasey? Really, pal? A tattoo? On week 4 of a reality show? And why did she get rid of hot Jesse? I don't like farms or dogs, and I'm allergic to horses - but sign me up to move to Peculiar, MO!

* Speaking of the Bachelor, is anyone else SO excited for the Bachelor Pad in August? It's going to be such good TV! Some of my faves are back - mainly Tenley, Gia, and Kiptyn. But, they're also bringing back some of the crazies. Like Dave and Juan from Gillian's season, Weatherman and Craig from this season, and Michelle the psycho stalker from some season I don't remember. Can we say DRAMA?

* This summer session, I am teaching American history, and I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS!!! Unfortunately, the course is online, so my anti-Teddy Roosevelt speech will not be quite as effective. But, I'm excited nevertheless. I actually enjoy reading our text book.

* While I was in Colombia, I got a super cute hair cut. Like, seriously, I love it. Every time I look in the mirror, it makes me happy. If my friends will EVER post their pictures, I'll def. show you.

* Verizon is temporarily back in my good graces. I called them the other day to say, "I'm about to leave you - what can you do to keep me?", and I was pleasantly surprised at their efforts. They may have my business for at least two more years. Unless they do something terrible to drive me to cancellation again, which is entirely possible.

* Part of the convince-me-to-stay-with-Verizon package was a $30 enV Touch phone. This thing is awesome, and I can barely contain my excitement about its arrival. You should be excited too, though. The camera on it is better even than my digital, and will require no uploading of pictures. Which means that you will get more of them. Theoretically.

* My boss likes to eat at 8:00 at night. I've been eating a lot of protein bars this week.

*Blogher ads has approved my blog to be sponsored by them. So, when you see the annoying sidebar ads, please don't get mad at me. And please do click on them now and then because that's how I get money!

* I really don't like soccer. Nevertheless, I want the US to win the World Cup. Obvs. They totally can - our whole country is based on the triumph of the under dog.

Happy weekend, everyone!

Isn't she lovely?

2010-06-18T21:01:00.005-04:00

As I was thinking about the blog tonight, I asked Mark what I should write about, and he said, matter-of-factly: "your trip".

Duh.

But this is a little characteristic of my emotions regarding the trip. I've felt so conflicted over the whole thing - why I went, what my specific role was, why I don't feel like my life was changed - that I almost don't even want to talk about it anymore.

However, there are some really sweet stories that I know you'll want to hear, so I'll keep telling them until I run out. And maybe once I get everything "on paper", I'll have a better handle on what the trip meant for me personally.

Tonight's story took place while we were still in Bogota, at the girls orphanage. While we were there, we did a couple dramas, sang with the girls, and had arts and crafts time. (Oh, and I got them all sugared up with my gift bags. Apparently, giving little girls bags of candy is a bad idea. But, I got a pass because I don't have children.)

During craft time, I began talking to Karen, a little 8 year old girl. Thanks to my terrible Spanish, we were able to limp along in conversation, and for the rest of the time we were there - probably close to two hours - she didn't leave my side. We colored together in a Precious Moments coloring book (she used a black crayon for hair, I used yellow) and discovered that we are both left handed. She taught me the word for raindrops and laughed at me when I got it confused with the word for cats (they're really similar, I swear). She shared her Pixi Stick and her cake with me, and showed me her room with the Strawberry Shortcake comforter. And when it was time to go, and I asked if I could pray for her, she very patiently knelt down and held my hands while I fumbled through a Spanglish prayer.

All in all, we had a nice afternoon. But as our group was getting ready to leave, Karen started crying. Not just a few sniffles. Downright bawling. I tried to calm her down, kissed her on the cheek, told her I would write and send a picture, and I even gave her a Cinderella tshirt and a stuffed bunny - all to no avail. As our bus was getting ready to leave, Karen was still standing outside on the front lawn, crying as she waved goodbye.

After a few minutes, the orphanage director decided she needed to go with us to the hotel to get something, and she let Karen ride with me back to the hotel. We didn't talk much on the way to the hotel; Karen just sat and let me hold her. By the time we arrived she had calmed down and our second goodbye was much quieter.

I'm not sure why this little girl loved me so much. Honestly, I found it really strange that she did. Of all the people in that orphanage that day, I probably was the least qualified one to spend time with children. Others in my group are parents or want so badly to be - one couple even asked about adoption while we were there. Some work in day cares or have dreamed their whole lives about being a mom. Some just really love kids.

And then there's me. I hated babysitting. I never played house. My Barbies had no babies. But, yet this little girl loved me. As far as I know, Karen was the only girl in that house who cried when we left - and certainly the only one who got to ride on the bus.

I know God ordained that day. It surely wasn't an accident that I got matched up with Karen. But I don't know why. I don't know what the point of it was - to be nice to a little girl for a few hours and give her presents? Surely there was more to it than that. And there is my problem with this whole trip. I know there was some great purpose. But, I don't know what it was. And I feel a little helpless and unsure what to do with it all.

So, in the meantime, I'll keep telling stories. And if nothing else, maybe some of you will help me pray for the children whose stories I'll tell. Because they so desperately need it. And so do I.

This land is your land, this land is my land

2010-06-17T22:00:00.003-04:00

I love Washington, DC.

For those of you who have read my blog for a while, you may recognize that this statement is in direct contradiction to a post I wrote last year, in which I said, "I hate Washington, DC."

But today, 2 days after coming back from Colombia spelled with an O, the District of Columbia spelled with a U is looking pretty amazing. And entirely American.

Everywhere I go, I hear English. And I see Starbucks on every corner. There are big, beautiful homes and every kind of non-compact car you could imagine.

And an Episcopal church with a rainbow flag flying out front. Regardless of my personal feelings on that subject, you've gotta admit - that's pretty American. (The second time I walked past the church, a couple in their his and his matching tuxes were getting their pictures taken out front.)

So, as I ate my quesadillas, sitting across from my boss's husband who ate spaghetti, while she munched on a Cuban barbecue sandwich, I was reminded once again of why I'm so glad to live in my country, truly the land of opportunity.

I did, however, get just a little excited when I stumbled upon the Colombian embassy. I would have gone in and talked to them, if only I hadn't been a little afraid that they would never release me.

My country, tis of thee

2010-06-16T20:14:00.005-04:00

I have no idea even where to begin. So, let's begin with the most important:

I MISSED YOU!!!!

There were so many things I could have written about while I was gone, but my internet access was limited at best. I did try to blog once - a "don't forget me/I'm still alive" post. But, apparently an iTouch is not conducive to blogging.

So, bad news - I forgot to take my camera with me to Colombia. Really, no one should be surprised about this - you all know my poor photography skills. And, I'm a terrible journaler, so I didn't really take notes of my trip.

However, don't worry. A professional photographer was on our team, and between her and my roommate Leesa, there are at least 1000 pictures that document our journey through the land of coffee and graffiti (no, seriously. The graffiti in Bogota is out. of. control.). So, as soon as I get a copy of those, I'll catch you up. And you'll be so grateful that I'm using other people's pictures, I promise.

In the meantime, let's go over the things that don't require photos.

* I love America.
Like, for real. When our plane landed in Newark, everyone on our team was saying, "Can we go back now?" Except for me. While I enjoy experiencing other cultures, they always make me appreciate America more. Because, call me crazy, but I really, really like consistently hot showers, comfy mattresses, air conditioning, and clean water. Oh, and flushing toilets.

* Blond hair and white skin makes you an actress.
Or at least makes you look like one. Because that's what I was told. Multiple times. By lots of Colombian children.

* My engineering magnetism transcends international borders.
On the second day of our trip, I was talking to three 17 year old boys. Two of the three of them were planning to go to college to be engineers. WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME???

* Colombian food is fantastic.
Well, I'm not a huge rice fan. But, the rest of the food was great. Especially this raspberry juice I had at breakfast one morning. Definitely needs to be imported to America. As does the habit of putting caramel on everything.

* I'm so glad I studied Spanish in school.
Let me be clear - my Spanish is terrible. But, it was INFINITELY better than it would have been, had I not invested 5 years of my life into learning it. I could generally hold a conversation. And, more importantly, I could ask how much things cost.

Well, that's about it for now. The rest will be better with pictures. But, let me also assure you that I did buy a super cute pair of shoes. And a picture of those will be forthcoming, as well.

Thank you for still being my friends. Even 10 days later.

You are still my friends, right?

Like Anne with an E - only different

2010-06-06T21:19:00.004-04:00

I know I haven't written a Sermon Sunday in what feels like a month of Sundays (I've always loved that expression, and I think it's dying out. That's sad to me). For some reason, I just haven't had the inspiration - I really don't know why. (It may have something to do with the fact that I've been spending my Sunday afternoons at the beach lately, rather than at home thinking of spiritually-enriching things to write about, but that's getting a little too deep for my to continue pondering.)

Tonight, unfortunately, will once again be Sermon Sunday free. But don't worry - I will soon be spending 9 days with my pastor. Pretty sure I will come back chock full of inspiration.

I do, however, have a very cute story to share with you tonight. Today, I was hanging out with some of my friends from church, talking in the pool, when all of a sudden, this adorable little blond boy came up and stood behind me. My friend thought I knew him from the way he made a beeline for me, but I'd never seen him before.

After a few minutes, I got out of the pool and went over to my chair. The little boy, who had been playing with his dad, came over to me right away and introduced himself. His name was "Jason with a J", he was 4 years old, he lived in a house with his mommy and daddy and Madison - that baby over there - and he just had a birthday, and he got LOTS OF PRESENTS!!!!! (All those exclamation points were implied in his inflection and volume.) He also flexed his muscles for me, and assured me they were getting bigger - soon, he would be able to lift that tree! Well, obviously, how could I resist such a muscle-bound man, so I invited Jason with a J to sit with me and he did for a few minutes until he went to swim - with my promise to watch him.

As Jason swam with my friend's dad - a perfect stranger, I might add - he said, "I want the lady to watch me", and instructed my friend's dad to swim towards me so he could get my attention. A few minutes later, he told my friend's dad to again swim towards me because he "wanted to talk to the beautiful lady." And when I got in the pool later, he put his little tiny arm around my neck and gave me a tight squeeze.

OMG - can I keep him??!?? Please?!?!

To make this story even better, Jason's dad told me that yesterday, he screamed and cried when they tried to get him to swim - even after being bribed with food. But, today, he was as brave as can be as he floated around on his noodle, showing off for me.

Seriously, cutest. child. ever. And this is why I like little kids (words I didn't know would ever come out of my mouth). They're not afraid to say what they're thinking. They show affection, and respond positively when you show it back. They aren't playing games. Kids are like the purest example of what love should be - innocent, sweet, and without dishonesty.

Maybe we could all take a lesson from Jason with a J.

And then I bought Princess gummy vitamins for me

2010-06-05T21:14:00.004-04:00

Well, it looks like we are just going to have to postpone that license plate post a little longer, because I had such a great afternoon, and I have to tell you about it!

Despite the SWELTERING heat today, I did not go to the beach, as I normally would on a Saturday. Instead, I ran errands for C*lombia, and had a marvelous time!

First stop was the thrift store, where for $43, I got 12 items of clothing (skirts, shirts, and a dress), as well as a pair of shoes for the Bible college students we'll be working with. (Oh, and don't worry - I also got something for me. So make that 13 clothes!) I really hate thrift stores and usually try to avoid them except when absolutely necessary. Today, it was absolutely necessary, and I'm so glad I went. (The dress, btw, is SUPER cute, and I really want to keep it. But, I guess I won't. :( )

After the thrift store, I headed over to the Dollar Store to buy some toys and things for the girls orphanage we'll be visiting. I may have gotten a little carried away (like, for real, how is all this stuff supposed to fit in my suitcase?), but it was so much fun! There are few things I like more than buying toys for little girls - the pinker the better. Prominently featured among these toys are the Disney Princesses and Precious Moments. Here is the basket I'll be giving to the orphanage leaders to share among the girls:
I'm also making a gift bag for each girl that will include crayons, a crazy straw, AirHeads, Blow Pops, Bubblicious gum, a comb, barrettes, headbands, and a whole bunch more bright and pink stuff! I hope they like it - and I hope they let me color with them. I will use any excuse to color that I can get.

My trip is coming up REALLY soon (I don't want to say the exact dates online, but it's soon), and I'm excited, but also nervous. I know there will be a lot of moments where I'm out of my comfort zone, and I don't like that. But, that's what these trips are all about, I guess - getting beyond yourself. I am, however, completely excited about the orphanage, and I can't even tell you why - I'm not usually a "kids" person. But, these little girls who have nothing and no one are already tugging on my heartstrings, and I haven't even met them yet.

So, if you would, please pray for me and my group while I'm gone. You'll know by the sudden lack of posts. And please don't forget about me! I'll only be gone 9 days, and I promise I'll miss you!